My Total Conquest of Pretty Boy
by Shizuka Aralia
Summary: So my life totally sucked just then. Like seriously it did. But then this random guy named Toris like totally tripped on my foot. LietXPoland AU M for language.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Well here it goes! This one will hopefully be fairly long... considering I have no idea where it will end up. Please let me know what you think and if you are interested in it continuing! Please please review!

Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Hetalia.

Warnings: Feliks' language, discussion of depression and other problems.

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><p>I had it hidden at the back of my closet. It was the first skirt I ever owned. My cousin cried and cried when she couldn't find it and I almost gave in and told her I had stolen it... but really though? It's like one skirt, and you have a WHOLE CLOSET FULL. I was a selfish ten year old. Maybe that is something I haven't grown out of. But I had my reasons! I like still do! Anyway about my super cute skirt. It was pink-what other color would be as cute on me? Okay, green because of my eyes. I look sooo awesome in green! And pink. Back to pink. The skirt had lace along the bottom and was a perfect twirling skirt. I mean PERFECT. I can't explain it to people who haven't had that perfect twirling skirt, but those of you who have had one, you know. When you find a skirt like that- you NEED it. And I needed that skirt. So I took it. And I looked sooo good in it! No one knew though. My parents didn't really pay attention, and so as long as I was in my room I could wear it all I wanted. And no siblings to rush in and find me. Perfect for a budding transvestite. Anyway! I miss that skirt now. I still have it packed away in a box with toys from when I was younger. It's right on the bottom of the box so anybody who accidentally opens it will miss it. I hope. I'm still dealing with all of this. I think it'd be like so much easier to get along with everyone if they weren't all such total jerks! I mean seriously though? What's the problem? My legs look damn good don't they? So lay off about the skirt alright? Asses.<p>

But I guess I should start making sense. No fun I know but otherwise you'll be totally lost and I'll just be sitting here blabbing for no reason. Even though my voice is totally perfect! Just like everything about me! I wish. I just like to annoy people. That's why when someone gives me a rude look or says something I smile. I smile the biggest most annoying smile I can. And I wave baby! I wave at them in my skirt and high heels. If I'm in a super bad mood I may even blow a kiss.

I don't always think though. And I've almost gotten killed for it. Like being totally serious here. Scared the shit out of me. But I'm kinda dense so I don't learn. Just to be annoying I'll keep blowing my kisses. I'll blow my kisses at the biggest most homophobic asshole I can find. And if he beats me to a bloody pulp? It like totally doesn't matter baby!

See I may be super loud, even though I'm cute that way, but even I have my problems. And to be totally honest? I've got a lot. Have you like ever had those days where you toooootally feel like shit? You know what I'm talking about. Don't want to get out of bed, but you might as well. Don't want to eat, but it gives you something to do. Don't want to go to classes, but you're paying for them so you might as well. I've been there too honey. I am right now.

So my closet is FINALLY full of all the adorable skirts and dresses I want. I even- you'll be like 'OMG he's totally awesome for that!' after hearing this- bought women's underwear. I DID IT! It's sooo much more comfortable than I thought! I just felt like totally gross wearing boxers or even briefs under my cute skirts! It had to be women's underwear! Anyway I finally have all that shit... and I'm all like 'ok now what?' because I realized I have no one to wear them for.

No one but me thinks I'm cute in them. I can blow all the kisses I want. I can wink at all the men I want. I'm just... I'm like not that strong okay? Even the perfect me has tough times. And lately it has been the worst. Like seriously. I mean never had a point in time where there has been more shit.

Ya. Totally awesome right?

Hell no.

So here I am. A sophomore in college with not a single friend. Well I've got a few online. Most of them are super boring though, except Francis, and when I want to go out clubbing who do I have? That's right honey. No one.

My parents caught me in a totally adorable green and yellow plaid skirt my senior year of high school. I'd done like sooo well up until then. Every time I got that god awful skin crawling feeling I'd run to my room and put on a skirt! Once when they went out of town for the weekend I took the bus to the next city. I was feeling soooo bored with myself and with my life so I took my favorite skirt and top in my bag. When I got to the bus terminal I went to the bathroom and- with like the biggest breath and adrenaline rush ever- changed into my adorable outfit. Baby I totally strutted out of that men's bathroom! I think the old man who was washing his hands almost shit himself. His face was soooo funny! If I had been drinking something I would have spit it all over! Which would have sucked because then it would have gotten on my clothes! Ok so good thing I wasn't drinking anything. At that time my hair was still as my father would put it a 'respectable length for a man.' Ya thanks Dad! You're super awesome by making your son fit into your shitty ideas of what a man should be! Pent up anger at family? Me? Oh please sweetheart! I think I invented it!

That day was... hell I don't even know a word for it. I felt so totally great I could have cried. Being out in the world though, the real one... it was so much different than in my room. I felt perfect in my outfit, and I could see myself in shop windows. Let me tell you honey I looked daaaamn good! There is a reason that outfit is still one of my favorites! My ass and legs look better than a runway model's in it. Still though. The looks. I wasn't ready for those. Like not even close. I tried to just keep my eyes forward. I thought to myself 'Just act as beautiful as you KNOW you look!'

I thought I'd be able to do it. Every time someone gave me 'that look' though my smile fell a little. One particular man made me stumble a little. Looking back I thank God I wasn't wearing heels yet, just a cute flowery pair of sneakers. I would have fallen over and scarred my beautiful face if I had been in heels. I never knew what they meant when they said 'if looks could kill.'

Damn. That man's face. It was totally like one hundred times more ugly right then that it normal was! I'm sure of it!

And let me tell you honey that's a lot.

Eventually I ran off to the back of a clothing store and buried my feelings into buying new clothes. I'd saved up for months knowing I wouldn't get a chance like this again for... well for like forever practically. I cried as I grabbed every dress, skirt, and blouse I could get my masculine hands on. If only my hands were a little smaller and my fingers a little longer. Anyway. I can't remember how long I stayed in that store. I think I tried on almost everything in the place. It was perfect. And so painful. I had to ignore the shop girls who stared at me. They left me alone though which was totally perfect for me. I don't think I'd have been able to pull off my ridiculous confidence just then.

Anyways the girls left me alone and I spent most of the money I had saved up that day. With my arms full of bags I went back to the bus terminal ready to change and take the bus home.

Long story short that didn't happen. I'll spare you the details- trust me honey you don't want to know about those ugly boys. I managed to lock myself in a stall. With all of my bags of course! Do you like serious think I'd leave all of those adorable things in the hands of pigs? No way in hell! So I ended up sitting there crying my ass off for like... oh hell honey I don't know how long. But I do know I missed the last bus.

Damn right? That's how it's been for me. So I grabbed all my bags and shit- after changing of course. I didn't want to get another black eye to match the one I was getting. Like seriously my face can only handle so much. Especially in one day.

I totally don't remember the whole walk home. That's right honey. My super hot legs walked my sorry ass ALL THE WAY BACK. Took me the whole damn night. I felt like shit. But I didn't have even close to what I needed for a taxi. Besides that would have been like waaaay too convenient right? The hero totally needs to suffer.

I call bull shit on that too. You aren't the only who thinks that totally sucks.

So I got home who knows when and totally fell into my bed. Seriously. Thought it'd break I hit it so hard. I slept the whole next day and then had sore legs for so long I thought I'd die. It sucked. Like completely.

But I finally had clothes. More than just two skirts and one blouse. I was sick of stealing from my cousin. And I think she was toootally starting to wonder. I mean I only stole a few things... Seriously! Are three skirts and one blouse too much to ask for over like seven or eight years?

No? Thank you! I totally agree!

But she I think she was completely catching on to me. Even if I was sneaky she only lost clothing when I came over.

But after my trip? Sweetie it had been hell. Trust me. That black eye lasted so long I wanted to cry. How could I help it? My beautiful face had been ruined!

But worth it?

Like totally!

How could that many outfits not be worth it? And honey I looked so good! God I wish I could have shown someone how dead sexy I looked. But I didn't have anyone. So I held it in. It wasn't until my senior year that my parents found out.

So I was totally just chilling in my room eating some completely delicious kolaczki my mom had made when she like totally burst in through my door. I never found out what she wanted to say. She took one look at me in my skirt and top and walked out of the door again.

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><p>AN: Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you think! And don't worry. Toris will show up soon!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Here is the second chapter! Please please please review!

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><p>I heard her crying almost immediately. Ya. Totally right outside my door. Like thanks Mom. Way to make your son feel super special! She was super loud too, so of course my dad ran to see what happened. I guess she didn't say anything, so he flung my door open. He probably assumed I was like dead or bleeding all over or something. It would have been better if I had. Seriously. His face went totally blank and again my door shut without a word.<p>

I was still on my bed stuck in shock. I had been laying on my stomach with my feet waving back and forth to my music. Totally one of the worst ways I could have been sitting. Especially since the way my bed faces, I'm pretty sure my mother totally saw my hot pink ladies' panties peaking out from under the folds of my skirt.

Ya. Totally screwed.

They didn't talk to me the rest of that day. They left the house and didn't come back until the next afternoon. They didn't say anything to me. It was like I had totally disappeared. To this day they haven't said a word about what they saw. And since I moved out to go to college they haven't said a word to me. They put money into my bank account to pay my tuition, fees, housing, and all that junk. They send me a check at Christmas. They never say anything about my birthday. I haven't spoken to them in two years. The money keeps coming but I never get a phone call. The last bit of my senior year was totally hell. They only spoke to me when they absolutely had to. I was like completely invisible most of the time.

If there is one thing I hate it is being forgotten or ignored. Pay attention to me damn it! I am so totally wonderful that no one should not look at me and talk to me. Over the years though I've become painfully shy.

Literally. I get so nervous about meeting people my guts clench. Worst feeling ever. Seriously.

At college it has gotten even worse. When I started my freshman year I totally promised myself I'd only wear what I wanted. And I totally have. I look like so hot all the time. You'd melt if you saw me. Totally. Anyway! I still have no friends. I walk through the halls and on campus like I'm a model. When I have to talk to people though? Babe I start to shake. It sucks.

And so at the beginning of the fall semester my sophomore year I was feeling totally shitty and ready to just give up on everything. It was at that point where I started thinking about dying. I like completely didn't want to. But you get to that point where you're all like 'Well damn. This sucks. I'm in pain. Maybe it would be better.' It's not like you're all 'Hey there I suuuper want to die how can I go about that in the most painful way possible?'

Nope. That's totally not me. I'm a pain wimp. Amazingly so. I'd rather just fall asleep and wake up when everything is super sunny and awesome.

It'd be sooo nice. If only right?

That's what I was thinking when this dude tripped on my foot and fell forward dropping all his books and papers. Like seriously though? Who has that much shit to carry on the first day of class? I had one notebook and one pen. Both were super cute too! I had fiiinally found a pack of gel-pens! Remember when those were all over? God I miss those days. Anyways. So he like totally tripped on my high heel wearing foot and face planted right in front of me.

"Shit dude are you like okay?" I leaned forward but didn't feel like helping him. Why bother? Once I got up he'd totally freak once he saw all of what I was wearing. There was a reason all the seats around me were totally empty.

"I-I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hit you. A-are you alright?" This boy is so weird. He's picking himself up off the floor with a skinned chin and asking ME if I'M okay?

"Seriously? I'm totally fine. What about you? Your face is... well like completely pink and bleeding." He had started to pick his papers up and I finally got to look at his face.

I've liked boys my whole life. Seriously. I've never liked a girl. Never even got close to thinking of one that way. Even in all that time though I've never just looked at someone and thought 'Damn.'

But that's what I thought.

'Damn.'

Maybe it wasn't just his face, which was so totally cute I thought I'd die right there, but everything about him. Seriously though who else would stutter in that cute voice and blush that much?

I knew right then I wanted him. I think I told you before I don't do new people. It is like the worst thing ever. But when I saw him... I knew I had to try. There was no way this was going to slip through my fingers.

He still had a few papers on the floor, and though I was totally late on my reaction I got out of my seat and picked up the last few with him. He blushed and thanked me. Then he looked at me.

Ya he toootally hadn't noticed earlier what I was wearing. But I'll tell you! It was the cuuutest little black pleated skit with these roses embroidered one of the front left pleats. That paired with a red top that fit my body perfectly showing of my thin waist and slightly feminine hips- finally got a little bit of a figure! By this time my hair had grown to my chin and I had pined it back with a little red clip. To top it all with off my sexy red heels- sweetie I looked so good!

Still though that blush was a deeper red than any of my accessories. For a minute I thought I'd totally shit myself.

I mean seriously? Give me a break! Here was this totally perfect guy sitting in front of me. The only guy I'd wanted when I first saw him and he was totally staring at me as if I was a Halloween ride. Fake ghosts and all.

Shit. Scared off another one.

"T-thank you so much. I-I really am sorry about tripping on you..." That adorable bit of man in front of me dropped his eyes. He hadn't run off yet though so that was... like a good sign right?

"Totally! Sorry I like was super slow to move!" Shit. I had started that totally lame nervous laugh I get. Pretty boy looked back up at me and smiled again. Completely still beet red. He stood and after a minute of my brain being totally stupid- ok so I had to watch him! How could I not stare a little at those blue eyes? Anyway my brain FINALLY remembered what was going on and said 'Feliks get the fuck off the floor or you will look like even dumber to this boy than you already do!'

Ya that got me up.

I awkwardly went to sit back in my seat and he just stood there. What was he thinking? Oh God please be thinking you want to sit near me! Oh God please!

"U-um..." Ok that was a start... Come on Pretty Boy! You're like even worse at speaking than I am!

"Ya?" Wow. Thanks brain! Was that like the best you could do? I shifted and tugged the hem of my skirt down. It suddenly felt super short and I was worried I hadn't gotten everything when I'd shaved.

Seriously Feliks? Like he'll be looking at your legs.

"S-sorry again." Okay. That totally was not was I was going for.

"It's like totally no big deal!" Smooth Feliks. You just totally got a date with him. That's why he's walking to the front of the room and sitting sooo far away from you! Why does this always happen? And why are my intestines churning with that way too familiar feeling? I don't even know where the bathroom in this building. Damn it. Maybe it'll stop if I just wait.

Have I mentioned I sooo hate how shy I am? I totally wasn't always like this I swear. When I was younger before my parents stopped paying attention to me I was loud. I mean like super loud. My parents actually liked me then- I think. We went out and did stuff as a family and they'd like take me to get ice cream and shit. It was totally fun. When I was like eight was when it started to change. My parents both worked when I was young and both were in jobs they totally liked. I tried to be okay with it when they stopped being home as much. But I was like a little kid with no siblings okay? It got super lonely. I'd always wanted some siblings even if I totally try to play it off like I don't care.

I think I was a total accident. My parents never said anything to me. But I heard them talking one time when I was... hell I like don't remember. Old enough to know what birth control was and what it meant that my mom had stopped taking hers. I guess she didn't tell my dad and then I showed up. I guess they like tried to be happy with me or something. Their jobs were what they really wanted though. I like totally couldn't compare to their dreams right?

Shitty I know.

So anyway I like totally stopped being able to talk to them. When I tried they were all like "Feliks, Mom and Dad have work they have to do. Could you please play in your room quietly?" So that's totally what I did. I had trouble though. I wasn't one of those quiet kids that could just sit and read a dumb book and be happy. I totally wanted to run around and play games and yell and stuff. So I just did that in my room. Quietly. Alone. Totally awesome childhood right?

Hell no.

So all that shit at home ended up spilling over into school. Plus one day I made the mistake of saying I liked to wear dresses. I got in sooo many fights after that. And I like lost every single one. Grade school totally sucked.

Middle school wasn't any better, but I knew what people thought about the things I liked. This time around at least I like kept my mouth shut. I had no friends all through middle school and high school. I only talked to a few people online after my parents bought me a computer when I went into high school. I think they thought I'd like use it to study and shit. Like what kind of kid would do that? Not me! So I made a few friends online, and this was totally fine with my parents. It's not like they knew what I was doing, but I was quiet and in my room so they were like "You're growing into such a fine young man."

High school was when the stomach stuff started. I would get so nervous I wouldn't be able to go to school sometimes because I'd be stuck in the bathroom. Totally the most embarrassing thing ever. It still happens like all the time but I can sort of deal now. I can tell when it will go away and when I like need to run to the nearest toilet like I'm being chased by... something totally fast. Like a cheetah or something.

Anyway. I've been super shy for a while now. My friends online were all like "_Mon__cher__you__should__get__out__more__and__meet__people.__Your__prince__could__be__out__there__waiting__and__you__are__simply__too__shy__to__step__outside__the__door.__Ridicule_!" Like okay Francis but when it's either talk to someone new and start shaking so much that you look like you live in Siberia or staying safely away- totally doing the second.

So here I am stuck in a stupid Russian literature class with some creepy professor- like honestly though? Who the hell wears a scarf inside in the middle of August? Are you like insane? From the way his voice sounds maybe he is. He totally creeps me out. Anyway. My stupid guts are still mad and Pretty Boy is sitting all the way across the room and here I am brooding over my shitty life. Lucky me! Oh ya. Totally.

Class ended and Pretty Boy got up to talk to Creepy Russian. Damn why was he taking so long? I was totally hoping I could like somehow manage to be like "Oh hey there! Like sorry about earlier! Is your face feeling totally better?" Or something like that... Okay like something a lot smoother but still! You get the idea.

My plan was ruined though. Creepy Russian got waaay too excited when talking to Pretty Boy. Like honestly dude? Back the hell up. Is it even legal to look at a student like that? Creep.

So I left in total shame, totally alone. Like a totally normal day.

That night I whined for like forever to Francis over chat. He just told me to grow some balls and hit on Pretty Boy. But I like totally didn't want to do anything like THAT with a rose. Like seriously though? Sounds totally painful and that would soooo scare off Pretty Boy.

He's probably straight.

Damn. Probably.

I just went to bed trying not to cry like every other night. My neighbors would hear me and totally complain again. At least I wasn't in the shitty dorms anymore. That was like the worst thing ever. They had given me some random asshole for a roommate and he was like "What the fuck? Why are you wearing a skirt you fag?"

I blew him a kiss and he would have beat the shit out of me if the RA hadn't been walking down the hall. Totally glad I had left the door open when I walked in. Anyway so after like all this shit they had to give me my own room. I totally didn't mind though. It was completely perfect for me. But I had to keep my door locked even if I was in my room. Why are people so totally shitty? One night I was crying super hard and trying to keep it down. The whole floor started yelling at me and pounding on the walls. Both sides and out in the hall. Ever since then I've tried to be quiet when I cry. It's like super tough though. I have a really loud cry. I sound like so stupid.

Eventually I fell asleep.

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><p>AN: I do not know any French, so if I messed anything up please let me know! Also please review and make an author happy! : )<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Here is chapter three! Please review and thank you sooo much for reading!

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><p>On Tuesday the damn sun was just as bright as it had been the damn day before. Fuck you sun. Fuck you for being so damn happy all the time. Today I didn't feel like a skirt-no I don't wear them all the time- so I put on some adorable form fitting jeans instead. My tank top was sooo cute! I love how I look in green. Love it. I put on a pair of sandals that matched my top and after doing my hair and like getting all my shit together I left my apartment. The damn bus was late- again. This was going to get totally old really fast. There were a few students who were waiting with me. After taking a minute to get used to the looks I sighed and zoned them out. I wanted to see Pretty Boy but I'd have to wait an entire day. This so sucks.<p>

I was obsessed honey. Totally.

The bus came after like an eternity and I got on. No one sat even close to me and I was totally fine with that. It meant I could relax. Usually if someone sat near me it meant trouble. Like bad trouble.

My first class was some stupid math the college was forcing me to take. Like honestly though? Like why are you making the Gender Studies kid do math? I totally fail at math. Literally most of the time. The ass professor already gave us homework and his Japanese accent was so thick I could hardly understand what he was saying. After escaping from there I remembered that I had the worst schedule ever on Tuesdays. After math I didn't have another class for like three hours, and it totally wasn't worth the trouble to go home. I sighed and rolled my eyes. If "Gender, Sex, and Science" had been offered at a different time I like wouldn't have this problem. I glanced at my watch and saw the two hearts ticking to ten o'clock. I had at least one hour before I should eat and I probably should wait until twelve. What the hell do I do for two hours? Professor Honda's totally evil homework suddenly popped up in my mind and I cursed. Today was turning into like the worst day this week. Okay so my other days weren't much better, but sometimes I pretend. I walked in the direction of the library. I was still getting a lot of looks, I am a man in high heels, but at least they were no where near what I like normally get. The dick in front of me like completely shut the library door in my face and I almost tripped. Some bitch behind me started laughing. I could feel myself like totally blushing, but forced myself to not look back. I straightened my tank top and honey I strutted through that door. The bitch, who was no longer laughing by the way, was probably totally jealous of how awesome my ass looked. It's why I bought those pants. They made me look like... something totally sexy... You get the point. Anyway so I strutted in and who was sitting at the side desk?

Hell ya honey. Pretty Boy.

That hot piece of man looked up at me from his book and his eyes widened. 'Oh shit' was all I could think but a moment later he smiled like the most adorable smile ever. Seriously it like melted my heart. I was blushing again and tried to smile back. I have no idea if I actually smiled or not. I was just trying to not stare and look like a creeper.

"H-hello..." His voice was so quiet. Did he sound... scared? Shit I totally had scared him.

"Hey there!" Wow. My voice was waaaay to loud for a library. And could I seriously not say anything better than that? God brain you suck sooo much right now.

Pretty Boy was still smiling that little smile. Like a good sign right? "How are you today?"

"Today has totally sucked. And now I have fucking math and I'm ready to kill myself with my text book." Opps. Ya that was not supposed to come out that way. At all. I had even shifted to jut one of my hips out without realizing it. I was totally standing in my 'I'm pissed. Fix it.' stance. Shit.

Pretty Boy's smile fell and his head tilted ever so slightly to the side. "You don't like math?"

"It's the devil honey." Why was Pretty Boy so... easy to talk to? I only could talk to Francis like this and we'd been talking for years. Pretty Boy's tiny smile was back and... shit please tell me he's blushing. Oh God PLEASE let him be blushing!

"Would you like some help? I'm in the second Calculus class. So... as long as it isn't too difficult I could... help you..." Wow boy. Seriously do you always put so much space between words? But wait.

OMG! Did Pretty Boy just say he'd help me? HELL YA!

So my mouth dropped open. Totally looked stupid but I couldn't help it.

"Oh my God I love you! It's like shitty algebra. That's okay right?" Shit... did I just say I love him? Yes Feliks you did babe. I could tell from the blush that was spreading to his ears. He was just like the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"T-that's fine... I have to stay here and watch the desk, but... but you could sit with me... if you have time now that is..." God. You do exist. And right now I totally love you.

I plopped my pony backpack down on the desk and tossed my algebra book down. "Thank you soooo much! I like totally suck at math and this class is going to kick my ass! What kind of professor gives you thirty problems on the first day? Seriously though? Like we're taking algebra because we suck. Don't rub it in, ass." Wow... okay I had just said more out loud to another human than I had in... God I like really have no friends do I?

Pretty Boy smiled and pulled the other chair next to him. "Who do you have?" he asked as he picked up my book and opened it. "Some asian guy named Honda. His accent is totally awful and I like can't understand a word he says!" Oh shit. I was whining. Me. Whining. To Pretty Boy. "OMG. I'm totally sorry. I'm so whining and being annoying." Yes Feliks. Because saying something THAT STUPID makes it so much better!

Pretty Boy looked over at me as I shifted in the chair. "I don't mind. I've heard about Honda and he sounds very difficult. Especially if you aren't very good at math it makes sense to be upset."

Pretty Boy. You are...TOTALLY SO SWEET! Okay that's it I AM in love! God he's like totally perfect!

"T-thank you..." I stuttered. After all that yelling in my head my brain like totally broke.

"Toris. My name is Toris... What is yours?"

"Feliks." My hands were starting to shake. My confidence was beginning to shut down and I could feel the start of a dead run to the bathroom forming in the pit below my stomach. I was staring at my knees but out of the corner of my eye I could see Pr- No Toris- I could see Toris looking at me.

"A-are you alright Feliks?" I looked up in like total shock. His voice was so kind and gentle. Those blue eyes were even more beautiful now than when I had seen them more the first time. Had his hair always been this shiny? God why can't I focus? He totally just asked me something...

"Sorry... I'm... I'm like super shy. I just..." Oh shit I sound like him now... Please say something Feliks! "I'm-just-totally-nervous-and-worried-I'll-like-scare-you-off-or something-and-I-like-don't-have-any-friends-and-you-seem-totally-awesome." Okay shit. That was not what I was going for when I said talk! Had I taken a fucking breath while having verbal puke? No. No I hadn't, and now I was totally gasping for breath. And shaking. Shit.

There was a looong silence. Like way too long. Shit damn fuck. Tears started forming in my eyes. I wouldn't be able to hold them back much longer and my intestines were screaming at me. I stood suddenly and ran to the bathroom. I, Feliks Łukasiewicz, ran to the bathroom like a little girl. Then I locked myself in a stall and after emptying everything my guts were holding in into the toilet I cried like a little girl. Eventually I cleaned myself up, in ever sense of the word, and washed my hands. I looked so ugly. My eyes were bright red and my nose was red. God I just looked like really ugly. I had to go get my bag though. This day has been sooo terrible! I wanted to just go home and like cry myself to sleep.

I slowly walked back to the desk where Toris was. When he saw me he stood up quickly. His face was red and he looked... like worried. "Feliks..." His voice was soft again... but I knew what he'd say and I totally didn't feel like having my heart hurt anymore than it already did. I reached for my pony backpack and my math book.

A warm hand grabbed mine. I like totally froze. Toris had g-grabbed my hand! Hand! My hand! Finally I was like able to move and I looked up into his eyes. How could his hand be this soft? Like what lotion did he use? God I'd have to ask. I wanted skin like that.

"Feliks... Are you alright? Why did you run off?... I'm sorry, it just took me a minute to understand what you had said...Please... please don't be angry with me..." Toris thought I was angry with him? He had to be the sweetest person alive. No. Totally the sweetest person ever.

"I...I'm not angry Toris... I'm...I'm sorry..." I didn't know what to do and I like really needed some time to calm down. For real. I picked up my bag and math book and walked out of the library. I'd like just go crawl into a corner for the rest of my ridiculous break. I felt really bad about leaving him there... but if I stayed I would have started crying again. I didn't look back at him.

I hadn't eaten lunch. I had totally just curled up in a chair in the student union and did nothing for the rest of the time until my class. I like hate the student union. All the idiots stay there, but there is one small study lounge I don't mind. There is even a specific chair I always sit in if I go there. And that day I cried in my chair with my legs pulled up to my chest and my face buried in my knees. I think someone was there before I like started bawling, but I totally didn't care. They could leave if they wanted, and I think they did. Whatever. I wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone anyway. Eventually my class rolled around and I picked my sorry ugly self out of that chair and went to class. I totally don't remember any of what the professor said. She had a super loud voice though and it made it like totally hard to think.

Once I made it home I threw my stuff down on the kitchen table and opened the cupboard. Only one thing could help me now and I like needed it immediately. I grabbed the box of krówki and ripped one open shoving it in my mouth. I was so disgusting when I did shit like this. But I needed the toffees. I needed those 'little cows' with all their damn sweetness. I felt like total shit. I flipped my laptop open and turned it on. God like please let Francis be online!

He wasn't. Today has been like the worst day ever! I left the window open so that if Francis did get on I'd know. I totally had to talk to someone and he was all I had... I kicked my heels off and curled up on my couch. Still shoving krówki into my mouth I started to cry again. Like really though? Did everyday have to be so shitty that it was all I could do to not cry the entire day? God please kill me now. Please.

...Sometimes I thought about that a lot. I didn't want to but... I'd see the stairs leading up to my apartment and think 'It'd be so totally easy to fall down these!' and shit like that... One time... one time I was so scared I actually called Francis. I payed the ridiculous fee to call France from America for like three hours. I guess my parents did but still. They never care what I spend the money on as long as they don't have to talk to me... But that night I had been so scared I was going to do something... I had tried to eat dinner and kept eyeing my fork... It was... it was terrifying. So I called the only human I had. Francis was so sweet about it though. I think everyone around him thinks he's like a total sex freak and super creepy. Okay he is a bit of a sex freak, but he's also like the most awesome friend ever. He talked to me for hours while I cried and freaked out. He calmed me down.

I like super wanted to talk to Francis! Damn time differences. It was around nine o'clock in France so he wouldn't be home for a while... I'd just have to calm down on my own... I turned the TV on and decided I'd watch a movie. I needed something super sappy and decided on Sense and Sensibility. It was like my total favorite Jane Austen(SP?) book. After sobbing over the movie and eating the entire box of krówki candies I finally heard the ping from my laptop telling me Francis was on. I ran to my kitchen table and threw myself into a chair typing before my ass touched the seat.

'_Like OMG Francis today was like total fucking hell and I am sooooo screwed!'_

'_Mon cher! What did you do this time? Did you kiss another football player?'_

I rolled my eyes. That was one time. One time and I never would again! I liked almost died and he totally broke my wrist. Fucking ass. Without realizing it I started rotating my left wrist and sat there for a minute in thought. God I had been almost killed like so many times...

'_No this is like a zillion times worse than that! I scared off Pretty Boy! I'm such a total idiot! Please just kill me now!'_

'_Non Feliks I will not. Now calm down and tell me the whole story mon cher.'_

I told him everything. The whole like embarrassing fuck fest and started to cry again. Why had I been so stupid? Why had I like totally walked off? Toris was worried about me and totally would have listened to me! Wouldn't he?... With eyes like that he would have. I like know he would have.

Francis didn't respond for a few minutes. I was worried but then I saw that he was typing something.

'_Feliks my dear. Why are you so stupid?'_

Okay that was not helping Francis! I was about to type a rude retort but then he wrote something else.

'_The boy obviously likes you. He wouldn't have grabbed your hand otherwise. Male friends do not touch hands. Mon cher you are so dense! Stop running away. This boy seems like he could be your Prince. Now stop crying, I know you are, and sit up straight. You must take your life in your hands mon cher and stop simply sitting at home alone! This Toris is someone you truly like and you need to calm down and go after him! If you run away again I will be forced to go to America and lock you two in a room together!'_

Francis you are so weird. But you have always said the perfect thing. I stopped crying and sat up straight like he told me. I felt like a little better, but my stomach was angry since it had only eaten krówki since breakfast. I would get Toris. I would. I wasn't going to back down now. He had the softest hands like ever and I wanted to rub my face in his hair. That like totally beautiful shoulder length brown hair...

'_Feliks?'_

Okay focus! Now is like totally not the time to day dream!

'_I'm going to get him.'_

'_Magnifique! You need help with a plan non?'_

'_Thanks Francis but I like want to do this on my own. I want him to like, like me. But I will totally still need you around for when I have to whine.'_

'_Mon cher I will always be here for that.'_

We said good night and he went to bed. I felt like a lot better and started to make dinner. I was so totally hungry my stomach would not shut up. Should I make a plan? I couldn't decide. My brain said it'd be super smart to but I totally wanted this to be natural. I'd see tomorrow.

OH GOD. I had to see Toris tomorrow! I had class with him!

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><p>AN: Hopefully my French wasn't wrong. I don't speak any so please forgive me XD Please review and let me know what you think!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Merry Christmas to everyone! Here is chapter 4! Sorry it took me a bit to upload, but hopefully you'll enjoy it!.

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><p>I had worried all evening and had gotten almost no sleep. Thank God for makeup otherwise I would have had the worst dark circles ever. Toris would have totally fell for me then. Ya right. Anyway after agonizing for like a thousand years about what to wear I decided on one of my favorite outfits. I checked myself in the mirror and I looked so totally hot. This had to work. Who could turn me down in this? My jean shorts were tiny and tight and the pink and green striped socks I wore went up to my mid-thighs. My v-neck top fit perfectly and the pink matched my tennis shoes. Green hair clips held back my bangs. I grabbed my white jackets with hearts all over it- hey it was hot out but sometimes those class rooms got so totally cold! Anyway I looked totally awesome. No way Toris would turn me down looking this hot!<p>

With my pony backpack and copy of One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich in my tow I headed for the bus feeling better than I had like... years. It was so flipping awesome. I strutted off the bus and to class. I had to get through two classes before Russian Literature, but I was so totally lost thinking about Toris that before I knew it I had to eat lunch. I didn't want to but I knew my stomach would like ruin my life later if I didn't. I ended up just getting a smoothie and sitting outside the Russian Literature room waiting for it to start. God Feliks you'll look totally pathetic if Toris finds out you got to class over an hour early. But okay like class didn't start until two o'clock so I totally had a reason to be waiting. Right?

So I just sat there and like drank my smoothie and totally got lost in more daydreams. The class that was before mine let out, but I still had about an hour left to wait. With a super heavy sigh I found the seat I had sat in Monday and settled in to wait. This was so totally boring. I threw my now empty smoothie cup in the trash and sat back down. Like what the hell. Why did I get here so totally early? I laid my head down on the desk and closed my eyes.

Something warm was on my shoulder. Mmm... That was nice. Until it started shaking me. Like leave me alone! I'm totally asleep and I really want to stay that way. The gentle shaking continued and I heard "Feliks... Feliks wake up..."

Such a totally nice voice... God I want to listen to it all the time... Wait... don't I like know that voice?... Toris!

My eyes flew open and I bolted upright. I totally sat up waaay too fast though, and I guess Toris had been like leaning over me or something because my head rammed into his chin. Ow. For both of us. Totally sucked.

"Oh my God Toris are you like okay? Holy shit I am so totally sorry!" I was sounding so smart I wanted to cry. God, the way I talk when I get nervous... He was rubbing his chin and tears were working their way out of his squinted eyes. But after a minute he opened his blue eyes and smiled at me. "I'm alright. Are you okay? I didn't mean to startle you but class is about to start..."

I looked around at the people who were now totally staring at us. I could feel myself get like the deepest blush ever and I looked back to Toris. "Thank you... I'm super sorry... For everything... Um... T-Toris?..." I had to ask him. I had to see him after class. I needed to talk to him and... well try to explain my totally stupid behavior.

He looked a little surprised but he sat down in the desk next to me. My heart was beating so hard it was totally all I could hear. "What is it? A-are you upset with me?..."

Why did he always think I was like mad at him or something? Seriously boy can you not tell I'm totally all over you? "No! No Toris I'm not like mad or anything. I just... I wanted to ask... are you like busy?... After class I mean... I wanted to talk and maybe like... I don't know like get something to drink... or something..." I couldn't look at him. My chest was totally hurting so much I thought I'd like be torn in half.

"I'd love to."

My heart stopped beating. Like right then and there I died. Okay not really but almost! I looked up at him and he was smiling that little smile. I blushed again and smiled too. "That's like totally great!" I totally spared more embarrassment by creepy Braginski and that damned scarf. This class was so totally boring but I needed a non-western humanity class. Besides, now that I knew I could see Toris I'd totally never drop this class. I'd like rather fail it. Which was totally possible. I sat there and tried to pay attention, but I was way too busy trying to stare at Toris without him noticing. It wasn't hard though, which made me a little mad. Like seriously Toris? You had better super love Russian literature or I will be so pissed at how much you're staring at Creepy Scarf Man. Like stare at me instead! I had to get his attention somehow. I laid my head down on my arms and kept staring at him. I guess I moved into his line of sight because he glanced down at me. I was so freaking scared he'd get mad at me for creeping on him but he just smiled at me. He was so totally beautiful. I wanted to kiss him sooo totally bad! He tilted his head to the side slightly like he was asking me something and I just smiled and shook my head a little. Toris looked a little confused but was still smiling. He looked back at me for a few seconds then turned to listen to Scarf Guy again. I totally stayed staring at him. Like I couldn't help it! If you had the most totally pretty hot man ever sitting next to you you'd stare too!

This class was so totally long. Who needs to sit there for an hour and a half and listen to some crazy Russian dude talk about dead guy's books? Not me. Even with having Toris to stare at I totally fell asleep. Next thing I knew that warm hand was back on my shoulder. Damn I could like get used to this. I wish it wasn't totally too early to ask him to spend the night in my bed. I wanted those hands waking me up in the morning. Okay like not like that! Perv. I slowly sat up and looked over to Toris.

"Do you always sleep in class?" He asked it with a bit of a smile in his voice and I totally melted again.

"Only when my professor is a creepy guy teaching a totally boring subject." I said standing up and stretching.

"I...I don't think he is creepy... He seems very nice and he's just... passionate about the subject." Damn Toris you had better not be blushing. I looked over to Scarf Demon and he was like totally watching us.

Screw this.

I pulled on my jacket and grabbed my bag. After swinging it onto my back I grabbed Toris' super soft hand and dragged him out of the room. Like I'm going to sit there and let him blush over Ruso Creep? Hell no.

Once we got into the hall Toris stuttered "F-Feliks... Is something wrong?" He sounded like upset almost. Shit. I let his hand go and turned to him. Was I blushing? Honey, I think my face was on fire. It totally just now sunk in what I had done. I had grabbed onto a guy who I totally wasn't friends with and dragged him out of the room like a jealous lover.

"I...I uh... I just wanted to make you like didn't totally skip out on..." On what? Our date? Was this like a date or something? I totally couldn't finish my sentence. I just stood there blushing like I'd just told him I loved him.

Toris seemed confused for a minute and then smiled like the cutest smile at me. "How could I? I'd... I'd really like to be your friend Feliks..." Okay like ouch. But it was totally early right? I mean... maybe he like just didn't feel right telling me anything else yet. Ya. That was totally it.

"That's totally awesome!" I had to choke something out and even though that like was not at all what I was going for it seemed to work. Toris smiled and I felt like I'd die. Totally normal interaction for us.

"So... do you like coffee? We could... uh..." My voice was failing and I was dizzy. Why the fuck was I dizzy? At least my guts weren't jumping on the 'let's kill Feliks' train. God my body sucks.

"I like tea more than coffee... but the shop in the library has both. W-would that be alright?" He asked sheepishly looking over at me.

Ug. Like honestly though Toris? How is the library coffee shop like romantic? Seriously boy there is something wrong with you if you think that. Maybe he totally doesn't like me... No. Francis is right. I have to try. Even if this like doesn't work out or anything. God I hope it does. I want that pretty boy...

"Duh, that's totally fine!" Wow Feliks. Way to like completely lie. What's with the 'duh?' Now he'll like totally think that you want to go there are the time. We walked awkwardly to the library and I was totally yelling at myself in my head the whole time. What the hell was I going to say? I like had to explain myself right? Shit. This totally sucks. Where is Francis when you need him? Actually no. Like totally no. If I asked Francis what to do right now he'd totally tell me to like straddle Toris or something and make out with him. I glanced over at Toris. Okay so that would totally have to happen at some point. His hands were so warm I like wondered what the rest of him was like...

Then I realized I was totally staring at his crotch. Probably with some sort of like lusty expression. Like what the hell Feliks? Did he catch me? With like the worst blush, even worse than the ones before, I looked up at his face. He was still totally looking ahead. Safe. Holy shit that totally scared me. I'd like really have to be more careful.

I faced forward again but totally kept watching him out of the corner of my eye. Ya. Like a totally creeper. But OMG like thank God I did because as soon as I looked away I saw him turn to look at me. Shit does this mean he could like see me staring at his junk? I totally hoped not. He seemed to be watching me the way I watched him. I couldn't tell if he was looking where I looked though. I'd be so totally happy if he was though!

We got to the library and found the coffee shop. Shit. I had to start talking again. Well like soon or something. Toris still hadn't said anything and I was so nervous I was totally fine with silence. Even though it was super awkward and totally weird. After I got my cappuccino and Toris got his tea we sat down. He chose the table but I was totally wanting a booth. They always seemed more private. Then I realized I totally wouldn't be able to sit next to him if we got a booth so the table was like totally fine. God I am such a total creeper. Only for Toris though. So I'm totally not the same as Braginski. Totally not. Right?

"So..." He started. I was still trying to figure out what the hell I'd say. "Did I... What... Um... So yesterday..." Ever time he stuttered out another word his blush got deeper and he got that much cuter.

"Ya... sorry about that... Um... I just... God Toris I was totally like mortified that I'd just like puked words all over you and then I realized how totally stupid I sounded and so I just had to get out of there and-" I suddenly stopped. I was like totally word puking again. Shit!

He looked shocked. He like totally sat there and stared at me for a minute. "You... you aren't very good with new people are you?..." Seriously Toris? Like how long did it take you to figure that one out?

"No, I'm not." I had finally calmed down and the words came out a totally normal pace.

"Honestly... neither am I. I get very nervous when I meet new people. Normally I can't even talk to them... I'm sure you've noticed..." I nodded, not willing to open my mouth. If I did something super dumb would pop out, and I'd look like a total idiot. Well like more of an idiot than I do now. "But when I met you... Well... This will sound very rude so please excuse me... But Feliks you were so much more shy than I was, that you were the first person I could talk to normally when I met them..."

I was stunned. Did he just like... compliment me almost? Or at least say I was like special or something? I guess my shocked state worried him or something because he totally started spluttering.

"I-I'm so sorry Feliks! I didn't mean anything rude by it! Please... please forgive me..."

"Damn boy, like seriously calm down. Like why do you always think I'm mad at you? I was like just totally happy you sorta called me special." I needed medication for this condition. Word vomit was becoming more of a problem than my IBS was. And that was like a fucking huge one. Trust me babe.

We sat shocked for a minute, both totally surprised by what I had said. I just had to blurt out that I thought he meant I was special didn't I... Fuck...

Luckily though Toris started to smile. Then he started to laugh. God, that boy was cute. I like couldn't help it and I started laughing too. I think we were both so totally nervous that once we started laughing we couldn't stop. All my nervous energy was slowly leaving and we kept laughing like complete idiots.

Maybe that's what we were.

"I'm sorry Feliks. You just catch me off guard so easily. You really are funny. I'm glad I met you. Could we..." Date? Make out? Please say something like that! "See each other more? I mean to hang out or something?" Damn. The friend thing again? Okay that's fine Feliks. It's totally just a stepping stone. Right?...

"I like love that!" I smiled, but it hurt. Like a lot. Sure, it was too soon for him to ask the tranny gay kid out. I just totally hoped he wasn't straight. I think I'll actually start praying to God for that very thing. Ya right. Like God would give me a gay boy if I pray for it.

"So... what is your major? Wait... actually what is your full name? We never said those... I'm Toris Laurinaitis."

"Feliks Łukasiewicz. Where did your name come from?"

He blushed slightly. "I'm Lithuanian. I was born here in America, but my parents were born there. They moved to be closer to my mother's sister. She got sick... with cancer that is, and so they moved here to help her and her family. She died when I was young though... so I didn't know her very well. I'm still very close with my uncle and cousins." He had talked slowly and quietly through the whole thing. I was totally shocked he'd be telling me stuff like that. I totally wanted to know everything about him, but like seriously though? Wasn't that totally personal shit?

Then it hit me. Did he want me to know personal stuff about him? I smiled a huge smile.

Lucky me he had just looked up at me to see my reaction, and there I was grinning like an ass. Shit and he had just told me a sad story. He looked totally hurt.

"Shit Toris I'm not smiling because your Aunt died. I just... Oh God Toris I'm so totally sorry! I was just thinking that that was like totally personal and it made me super happy that you wanted to tell me..." Toris' eyes widened for a minute and then he smiled slightly.

"...You know Feliks every other minute we're offending each other or worrying we have... Just explain yourself normally and I'll understand. But... don't smile after sad stories. You'll get yourself into trouble." Oh shit. Toris was teasing me! I think... I hope!

"I get into plenty without doing that." I grinned at him and leaned forward slightly. Opps. Okay Feliks not too much flirting. I was like getting more relaxed the longer I was with him. After a second I let my smile fall. "But I really am super sorry about your Aunt. That had to have been totally hard for your parents."

He nodded slowly. "It was, especially for my mother... Where is your name from?" He blushed slightly and I could have kissed him for trying to have a normal conversation again. Man could I have kissed him... Okay not the time to daydream.

"It's Polish. My great-grandparents came from Poland, but somehow everyone ended up marrying more Polish people. So my family has been here a while but I am from one hundred percent Polish heritage." I was proud of that fact and liked to tell people about it. Talking about my family though... that was something I hated talking about...

"That's amazing. Do you have any siblings? I don't, but my cousins seem like my brothers. There is Eduard and Raivis. Eduard is still in high school and Raivis is in middle school. We all get along though, and I think they really like having my mom around."

I squirmed in my seat a little and pulled on my hair. "Um... No I don't have any siblings... or any other family..." His eyes widened and his voice got quiet.

"I'm sorry... Did... Did they... pass away?" Okay Toris I like totally want to get to know you but do I have to like tell you all of my shitty history right now?

"No. No my parents are still alive. We don't talk though. They send me money for school and that's it. That's all." I sighed and just forced the words out. He had like asked and he'd totally find out eventually. So now is better. Right?...

"O-Oh... I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't realize..." I looked up at him and smiled.

"You're so totally cute Toris. Why are you sorry? You didn't know." He blushed. Like totally full face blushed. Opps. I'd like just called him cute! Shit!

"S-still... Um... Uh... What... What is your favorite color?" Toris squirmed a little but didn't say anything. He was totally still talking to me. Good sign right?

"Pink. You?"

"Green..." Because of your eyes. Ya right. Like Toris would say that to me. But damn I wish he would... We talked for a little while longer about random little things. I told him how much I loved ponies and he giggled at me for it. He said he was a European History major and now I understood a little more why he listened in Russian Literature. A little more... okay not much but still! He was a little surprised by my major, and seemed a little flustered. Everyone assumes all gender studies majors are angry lesbians. It's so totally stupid. After about an hour he looked at his watch and gave me a totally adorable apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry but I need to get home soon. I have quite a bit of reading to do tonight."

"That's totally fine! I... um... I'll see you next week for class?" I looked at my empty cup for a minute. I had wanted to make him do something with me like tomorrow, but that totally was like the worst idea ever. I would sooo scare him off.

"I'll see you Monday. And... try to stay awake next time." He smiled his adorable little smile at me and then left.

The day had been totally awesome, but for some reason my chest was starting to hurt in the way that I knew meant something bad.

Once I made it home I thought it would stop. I'd like get to eat dinner and send Francis an email. It'd totally be fine right? But it was still there and my skin was starting to crawl. This wasn't good. Francis wasn't online. I mean it was totally like late in France, but I needed to talk to someone. I didn't have anyone but Francis...well I was getting to know Toris but I totally couldn't call him. For sooo many reasons. And I totally didn't have his number... I tried to make dinner, but I didn't want to eat like at all. So I thought I'd read. I didn't want to do that either. I didn't want to look at anything online. I didn't want to do anything and damn it all my skin was still crawling and my stomach was starting to ache. It was a special ache and there was no medicine I could take for it. Well nothing over the counter anyway, and no way in hell was I going to a shrink. My parents would be like all over that if they thought I was crazy or something. Then they might try to 'fix' me and who knew what the hell that all included. Probably the dresses would be 'fixed' and so would my offensive gayness. Ya right. Fuck off.

A bath. I'd take a bath. Or would I? I didn't want to take off my clothes. I just... What did I want? I was getting nervous and felt about ready to cry. I got like this sometimes. I never knew exactly why but it always totally sucked. Something stupid and random would set me off and I'd have to fight like hell to get out of it. My closet. I'd get in my closet. I rushed to my room and curled up in the back leaving the door open a little. Ever since I was little when I got scared or super upset I'd hide in my closet. It makes for so many terrible puns though I've never told anyone. Not even Francis. I held my knees to my chest and breathed. It would stop soon and I'd feel better. But instead I started to cry and the pain in my chest got worse. It hurt so much and there was no way to get rid of it. Seriously. I had tried everything: exercise, eating right, getting sleep, getting sun, talking to people- okay that one was totally the most difficult but still! No matter what I did these... spells would hit me and I'd just have to wait them out.

After a while, I don't really know how long, I was able to stop crying and I calmed down. My brain stop freaking out and I slowly got up. My chest felt better and even though my eyes and head hurt sooo badly, I could tell it was alright for me to move. Sometimes if I get up to early it starts all over... Fuck everything. Seriously. I had even gotten to see Toris today and he had smiled at me like all the time. I had grabbed his hand. Why had this happened again? I didn't want to think about it. I gave up and wrote Francis an email- I totally left out what happened when I got home though. There was seriously no reason to worry him and he'd be like all on my case and worrying and shit. I didn't need or want that right now. So I wrote my email sounding happy and then decided on a bath. With like the heaviest sigh ever I ran the water and slowly got out of my clothing. I put my hair in pigtails on the top of my head and looked at myself in the mirror. Okay I looked so totally stupid with my hair like that but I didn't want it to get wet or anything. Finally the water was the right temperature and I got in. God, sometimes I just totally wanted to stay in the bath. Or in my bed. Okay bed totally won out. Especially when I had my electric blanket. I was in like love with that thing.

Oh God that bath felt so totally good. My muscles were aching from how I had been sitting in my closet and my like total panic session. The more I thought about it... It probably happened because I hate coming home. Especially after a totally awesome day. My apartment is so empty. Being in it just totally reminds me how alone I am. With a sigh I laid my head back and closed my eyes. Tomorrow would be better. Right? I mean I could like see Toris and stuff again. But would that be moving totally to fast? Shit. This is why I need to suck it up and go out to buy more bubble bath. That stuff is awesome at making me less tense. Like totally even better than a regular bath. I love that stuff. So totally much.

It was a little early to go to bed but I was completely exhausted and just wanted to forget everything right then. After getting out of the bathtub I dried off and started getting ready for bed. I stared at myself in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Yes, I did look so totally stupid with my hair like that. Oh well. No one would ever see it.

And that's when a mental image of Toris in the bathtub with me hit me. After choking for like a whole minute on my toothpaste, and trying not to totally die, I was able to swallow some water. Okay so that would be so unbelievably awesome, but would probably also never happen.

Besides even if we ever did get that close Toris probably hates baths. Knowing my luck. I took my hair out of the ponytails and combed it. I wish it would hurry up and get like hella long. It grew so totally slowly it was driving me crazy. Finally I crawled into my bed and set my alarm for eight o'clock. My classes this semester weren't too early but it still like sucked having to wake up to an alarm.

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><p>AN: Thank you so much for reading! Please please please review and let me know what you think! I will love you forever! : )<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

AN: I wanted to get the next chapter up quickly so here it is! Please oh please dear wonderful readers, review! I don't care what language it is in, I will find a way to translate it. (Yes, that means you KuzukiTani my wonderful fan! *hugs*) : 3 Please and thank you! On that note thank you to owl7498, Killed in the crossfire, and Goldpen for reviewing chapter 3!

-Aralia

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><p>The next day I somehow made it through classes and got home without any tears. It was like a total achievement for me. As soon as I got home I pulled out my laptop and opened my email. Francis you are like so totally awesome. You always write me back like right away.<p>

_Feliks mon cher! You are doing so well! Il est mereilleux! You should invite him over and seduce him over dinner and wine! I have the perfect first date menu! You should be able to cook most of it. Even though you are not as spectacular as moi in the kitchen you should do fine! Write me back soon mon cher! Bonne chance!_

I totally started blushing. Francis would try to get me into Pretty Boy's pants as fast as he could. As nice as that sounded though... well I totally didn't want to rush this.

And honestly... this is something Francis doesn't know... I'm a virgin. In every sense of the word. No girls and no guys. I told Francis about an old boy friend I had had for a while and he like totally jumped to the conclusion that we had slept together. I tried to like tell him the truth but he always cut me off. Ever since then he always thinks that sex is part of a normal relationship for me. Not that I'd like had any relationships lately...

So like anyways as nice as getting closer to Toris like that sounded I was super... scared okay? I was like totally terrified. I mean I like didn't even know if Toris liked boys, or if he liked me, or anything! This so sucked.

The rest of the week went by slowly and with like totally nothing fun happening. I just went to class and came home. Oh, and read that damn book for Russian literature. Even if I liked the books we were going to read, the class was like totally ruined by the fact that Ruso Scarf Creep was the professor. I was totally torn between being happy we didn't have class Friday and being super depressed. No Russian Literature meant no Braginski, but it also meant no Toris. Which sucked. Like super sucked.

I had to just get over it though. I wanted to go to the library to see him, but I was still reeling from my like total breakdown and was still super worried I'd like make him never want to see me again. So I waited.

And God it almost killed me.

Not literally this time though.

Thank God.

Instead I just made myself actually do my homework. Honda's math was like melting my brain though and even praying to God and asking Saint Thomas Aquinas for help didn't do anything. They must like not listen to me or something.

Besides I think Saint Anthony like totally hides stuff on me. My mom always told me to ask him for help when I lost things... ya it seemed to only make it worse. I'd only find my stuff when I was in tears. Cheeky jerk. He probably did that to everyone.

Anyway. So I like sort of made it through the week. Francis kept telling me to seduce Pretty Boy and gave me like some of the weirdest advice ever. Seriously Francis you are waaay too eager to have someone else take off their clothes. How exactly would I pull off answering the door naked? If by some like crazy miracle I got Toris to come over... Ug.

So Monday finally rolled around and I pulled out another one of my totally adorable skirts and spent forever like worrying over my hair. Toris had long hair too, but his was a little shorter than mine. I loved his hair, and it made him look totally hot being long. He still looked like a man and his hair made him look like... like a knight or something. Ya! Totally like a knight or a prince! And that's what he was to me... I blushed as I thought that and used a hair clip to tame my bangs.

I sat in Russian Literature waiting for Toris to show up. He'd like totally come sit next to me right? I mean we had like totally had like a heart to heart talk last week... I sighed and stared at the clock. Just twenty minutes left... Ug.

Ya, I totally fell asleep again. Like seriously Feliks? Way to like totally ignore what Toris said to you on your sort-of-not-really-God-I-wish-it-had-been-not-date-date.

I woke up when a hand touched my shoulder, and I sighed. Toris was here like finally! I opened my eyes and looked up expecting Toris' beautiful eyes to be looking back and instead saw this like totally ugly blond chick. She was one of those girls that should have been cute, but had like so ruined herself by trying to be what everyone else thinks it cute. A total trend follower with no idea of what looked good on her frame. Like ew. Honey that shirt is soo not for you.

"Like what?" I asked. I think I sounded like kind of rude, but seriously? Like your hair should not be blond when your eyebrows are dark brown. Thank God I'm a natural blond!

Anyway.

"Could you move? My friends and I were going to sit there and you're taking up the whole row." Her voice sounded normal but she was sneering at me. It just made her that much more ugly.

"Shove off bitch. And next time like dye your eyebrows too." I glared at her and didn't move. All of a sudden though, a rough hand grabbed the back of my super cute top and threw me to the ground.

"She told you to move queer. So get the fuck out of the way." The wannabe macho jack ass towered over me. A second later the bitch girl had thrown my bag on top of me and her dick of a boyfriend had grabbed me and pulled me up. I was still in like total shock and so he just dumped me into the aisle and they sat down like right where I had been. The class had like forty people and the room sat like one hundred. Tears started stinging in my eyes and I just sat on the floor. I didn't even realize my skirt had flown up until Toris' beautiful hand appeared out of nowhere and pulled it down so I wasn't totally showing my junk to the whole room.

I looked up at him once it finally registered that he was there. Finally there next to me.

"You will not cause problems in my class, Да?" A totally huge shadow suddenly covered bitch and jack ass. They turned around and froze. "You will see me after class, Да?"

Shit. Like OMG. This dude has probably totally killed like entire villages. Who else has eyes that look like that? I mean I swear I almost saw like a purple aura of doom around him.

"Toris you and your friend may leave. I will not count this as an absence." He totally just walked off and I was still crying, silently Thank God-like finally no wailing when I cried! Toris nodded and somehow got me up off the floor.

"Feliks come on." I couldn't see I was crying so much, but Toris had grabbed my hand and was pulling me behind him. It wasn't that it was a super big deal or anything. It had just totally surprised me. Like honestly I thought it was all getting better. Nothing like that had happened in like six months and I was getting used to it... Shit...

Eventually Toris stopped dragging me and I realized he had pulled me into an empty class room down the hall. He gently pushed me into a chair and then sat next to me.

"Don't worry Feliks. Professor Braginski heard the whole thing. We were walking in when it happened, but didn't have the chance to stop it... I'm... I'm so sorry Feliks... Are you alright?..."

I like totally forgot what had just happened and my brain went blank with the words 'we were walking in.'

"Like what the hell Toris? Like why were you walking in with Scarf Creep?" I glared at him and crossed my arms. Seriously if I lose Toris to that freak I will burn something down. Maybe I'll just light that damn scarf on fire... while it's still around his neck...

"Feliks? You are angry about that? We just happened to show up at the same time and he greeted me outside the door. You just got attacked and you are upset about that? Why do you dislike him so much?" Toris sounded like as close to angry as I'd ever heard, but that didn't say much. I'd know him what-like totally a week...

"Sorry... He just... he's weird... But I do give him props for looking at those two that way. They probably pissed themselves which is totally so much better than anything the school would do to them. But seriously Toris like stay away from him. He's totally murdered someone if he can look like that." I leaned forward and said it as seriously as I could.

Toris laughed. Okay so he more like giggled- which was like so totally adorable I almost squealed- but he wasn't taking me seriously. "Feliks I doubt he has. He is a nice man."

"Hmph. Like whatever Toris." I leaned back in the chair and folded my arms. He totally had just laughed when I was being super serious.

"But Feliks... are you alright? You never answered me..."

"I'm totally fine Toris. It was just like a big shock, but it is so totally not the first time that something has happened. I don't know why I cried. I've been called a lot worse and been beaten up like so much worse than that. It just caught me like off guard. Sorry for crying..." I hung my head and suddenly felt like shit. I'd made Toris skip class because of me. He was now having to deal with all this shit too, and if he wasn't careful he could like totally get in trouble for being seen with me and shit.

"Feliks you are so silly. Why should you apologize for crying? I'm sorry... I'm sorry I didn't do anything and... and couldn't protect you..." I looked up at him but he was staring at the floor. I realized he was wringing his hands and my heart started to flutter. Toris was worried about me. He was upset he didn't help me. Hell he just totally said he wanted to protect me.

I did the dumbest thing I could have.

I hugged him.

However I'm totally too stupid to give Toris a normal hug. That I could have laughed off as a 'thanks for not wanting me dead' type of thing. Nope. Didn't happen.

I sat in his lap.

Yes. I, Feliks Łukasiewicz, sat my skirt wearing butt down on the lap of a boy I liked who was probably straight. Then I wrapped my arms around him and buried my nose in the crook of his neck.

Fuck. Shit. Damn.

I felt Toris stiffen under me and my brain turned back on.

"Shit Toris I'm so totally sorry! I-don't-know-why-the-fuck-I-did-that-and-please-don't-totally-hate-me-I'll-leave-now-and-you-won't-have-to-see-me-like-ever-again-I'm-so-so-so-so-sorry!" As fast as I had sat down I like leapt off of him and headed for the door.

It was totally only after I had ran out of the building that I realized I'd left my bag. Please shoot me! Please. I trudged back to the room after waiting for like ten minutes. I didn't want to see Toris... okay so I totally did but he hated me now so why bother? He'd probably like punch me or something.

When I got back to the classroom we had been in Toris was gone. My bag was there, but he was like...gone. My heart dropped out of my chest and onto the floor. He did totally hate me now. And who wouldn't? What straight guy wants a gay guy in a skirt like jumping into their lap? Shit.

I grabbed my bag and went home. I couldn't even cry. I sent Francis another email telling him what I'd done. He'd probably tell me that like I'd done merveilleusement and that Toris would like totally fall for me now.

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><p>AN: Thank you for reading! Also if I have in any way murdered the French language please let me know so I can fix it! I, sadly, know no French and so I had to use an internet translator... and we all know how well those work...<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Here's chapter six! Sorry for the wait! Thank you so wonderfully much to Mitchi, InnocentArcticFox, yeah9fun, Deidara4ever, Catsdon'tcry, KuzukiTani, owl7498, Nikini and Vasu 4ever, and Megs-P for reviewing! You guys have made me so happy!

I hope you like this chapter!

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><p>I was in a total funk all through Tuesday and through Wednesday too. I didn't want to go to Russian Literature, but I totally had to go because he took attendance. He was creepy enough that he like memorized everyone and their names... it was totally weird. He'd just spend the first few minutes of class staring at us and checking off names. Without talking at all. Totally freaky right?<p>

I got there right as he was starting class and sat in the back. The whole class I was watching Toris. He had totally sat in the seat next to the one I usually sat in. He was taking notes, but every so often I could see him looking around trying to find me. I'm super lucky though because I'd sat like right behind him, but at the back. I guess he didn't want to seem like he was looking for me though because he never turned in his seat. He'd just sit there and like crane his neck in the cutest way ever. God I was in love.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to talk to him after class, but I totally wasn't given a chance when Scarf Man said at the end of class "Łukasiewicz, you will speak with me after class Да?"

I stared at him. "Да." What? I'd totally just spouted out Russian. Damn.

He gave me a creepy smile and once everyone left I went to the front of the room.

"You are Toris' friend, Да?" I glared at him for calling Toris by name so casually. Why didn't he use Toris' last name like he had with me?

"Yes I am. What do you want?" I crossed my arms and slouched slightly. This guy was creepy. Totally.

"I do not like you. You sleep in class. However Toris likes you and the other students were out of line. I have punished them, but would you like to speak with the school about this incident?" He got that creepy purple aura again and I took a step back.

"No, I totally think they've been like punished enough. I'll just be going now." I turned around and almost ran out of the room. He was like totally even more horrifying when you like didn't have anyone else around. I got out the door, turned and ran like right into Pretty Boy.

We both fell over and my head was totally throbbing. The top of my head had like collided with his forehead. Ouch. I couldn't speak though. I was still living in like total hell over what had happened Monday.

"Feliks. We need to stop running into each other like this." Ouch. Okay, so he totally didn't want to see me.

"Sorry for forcing you to see me again." I stood up and could feel tears burning in my eyes.

"Stop Feliks! I meant literally running into each other... I was waiting for you... I wanted to talk to you..." He got up and I looked at him. His poor face. His forehead still had like a total red spot that looked like it would completely bruise.

"Sorry..." I couldn't think of anything to say. Why was this wonderful guy running after me? Hell, why was I like running away? I blushed. My face was like totally burning, and I think all the blood in my body went right to my face.

"Come on... Let's get something to drink..." He smiled his heart-stopping smile at me and turned, heading for the stairs. I followed behind him like totally more quiet than I had been like... ever.

We got to the library cafe and before I could stop him Toris had bought me a cappuccino and a cup of tea for himself.

"Go sit down Feliks. I'll get the drinks." I felt like a child in trouble. I know he didn't mean it like that, but I walked to a table in total shame. He came over in a few minutes and handed me the cup.

"I remembered you like this. I hope it's alright..." I took the cup and nodded.

"Toris... you... why?... You didn't have to buy this..." I stared at the cup. I was tired and felt like totally deflated.

"Feliks... I'm not angry with you. Please just drink it. I...I was surprised Monday... But I'm not angry. Please stop running away from me. I can't tell what you are thinking and so... I get very confused when you do something like that and then leave." I looked up at him and he was totally staring at me. "I want to be your friend Feliks. Why do you keep making that difficult?"

"I... I don't know... I... I'm sorry..."

"It's alright..."

We sat there for a little bit in like the worst awkward silence ever. Finally he spoke up again.

"So..." Poor thing. He was totally trying to get me to talk. I was frozen though, and in a bad mood. I didn't really want to talk.

"How is math going?"

Wow Toris. Pick like one of the worst topics ever.

"It's total hell. I can't do any of the work and he gives us like Everest sized homework. He's totally evil." I finally took a drink of my now slightly cool cappuccino.

"If you want... You could come the library after your class sometime. I never did get to explain the problems to you last time..." Toris tilted his head slightly and sounded hopeful.

"Really? God like thank you Toris! I need help so much..." I laid my head down on the table but tilted it to the side so I could still be a total stalker and stare at him.

"Of course. I told you I would last week didn't I?"

Toris your smile is so lovely. Can I just like stare at it all the time?

He suddenly stared at me with wide eyes and another blush.

"Did I say that out loud?..." I sat up and stared at him even more.

He nodded slowly and looked away. "Y-yes..."

I like wanted to melt into the chair. Or the floor. Or both.

"Thank you Feliks... No one has ever said that to me before..."

I was in shock. "Like seriously? Who could not tell you that your smile is beautiful? All of you is!" I was leaning in and looking him in the eyes. I couldn't help it though. Telling him how lovely he was totally just slipped out all the time. I mean why do you think I called him 'Pretty Boy' the first time I saw him. Duh.

Toris' blush got worse and he stared at his empty tea cup. "T-thank you..."

We sat there for like another ten minutes. I finished my coffee and Toris just poked at his cup.

"I need to leave soon Feliks... but... may... may I have... your number?"

My head like shot up so fast my neck popped in like three places. "Of course!" Okay Feliks—like way too loud and totally too enthusiastic. Toris smiled at me and handed me his phone.

"Once you put your number in I'll call you so you'll have mine too." I got his number saved into my phone—I saved it under 'Pretty Boy'—and he left with a small wave and a totally adorable goodbye.

I like floated home and was nauseously happy all evening. TORIS HAD ASKED FOR MY NUMBER! I ran around my apartment totally squealing. Then I wrote Francis like a super long email telling him everything from the past few days—hell points and all.

Later on that night I glanced over at my phone and my brain started yelling. It was all 'Text him!' and my guts were all 'Don't you dare!'

So I totally just sat there for... oh hell honey I don't even know. Probably like twenty minutes or longer just staring at my phone and having a totally loud argument in my head.

I'm so sane right? God I hope so.

So I totally couldn't help it but I grabbed my phone and doing the dumbest thing I've like ever done—I called Toris. It was a total 'oh shit' moment. But it had totally started ringing though so I couldn't hang up because cell phones suck and they know who you are! It's scary. Totally.

"Hello? Feliks?"

OH SHIT. He answered. Oh fuck! What do I say?

"Hey there Toris! How are you doing? Like totally fucking awesome?" Oh yes, nothing wins over a beautiful boy's heart like cussing and spouting nonsense at him. I wanted to die again, especially when I remembered that I had totally no reason to call and hadn't even been smart enough to think up an excuse. Well I'm screwed.

"U-uh... I guess I'm doing pretty good. How are you doing Feliks?"

"I'm... uh... I'm doing good." Wow. So I like can't lie anymore to Pretty Boy. Is that like good or bad?

"Are you sure? You sound..."

"I'm totally fine Toris! Like seriously stop stressing!" Oh yes. Because will that totally convince him. Ug. Please shoot me. Like seriously. Right now. I totally wouldn't blame you.

"Alright Feliks... If you're sure... Um. I'm glad you called. I just... I wanted to thank you for today. I had a lot of fun with you. Even though we didn't talk much, I still had a good time."

"I'm just super happy you still talked to me... Do you like want to go out again?" Damn had I just said that? "I mean...I uh... As um... friends. Ya like totally only as friends! Let's just like hang out or something!" Opps. Okay so that totally was wrong. Damn brain, just say 'Hey there Toris. You're like super hot and I'm totally in love with you. Want to date? I'm totally fine with being the woman.'

Because that wouldn't scare him off. Like duh of course not. FML.

"Oh...uh... I'd really like that Feliks." Okay Toris were you... disappointed? Or was that my totally overactive brain making shit up? Please be disappointed!

"I mean um... Would you want to go out again or do you... uh I mean like you could totally come over to my apartment or something. It's so totally boring with no one home and we could like watch a movie or something." I had just told him I like lived alone. Now I sound like a total creep trying to get him in my bed.

Okay so that was true but I'm not a creep!

Right?

Totally not. I just really like him is all! In a slightly obsessive overly lonely way... Shit...

"I'd love to. Thank you Feliks. That sounds wonderful." My heart was totally racing and I couldn't breathe. "When would you like to hang out?"

"I uh... how about tomorrow? I'm done at four..."

"Tomorrow would be fine... but I'm not out of class until six. I work from ten until three and then I have two classes. Is that alright? I'm sorry..."

"Seriously Toris you apologize like way too much. That's totally fine. Would you mind just coming over to my apartment on your own?"

"N-no that would be fine. How far is it though? I usually ride my bike..."

"Oh it like shouldn't be that far. It's totally just off of twenty-third street. Is that okay? If not you can like take the number twelve bus from campus. That's what I ride."

"If it's off twenty-third then that will be fine. That is actually not too far from where I live."

My heart fluttered as I told him the complex and what number. I had totally just invited my like super hot love interest over to my apartment. And I learned that he lived near me! That totally meant he'd come over more because it wasn't very far! Right? Hell ya babe!

We said goodnight and I totally fell into my bed. It was like the first time in so long I fell asleep without crying, and honey it felt good. It felt fucking great.

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><p>AN: Please review! And just to warn you the next update will take me probably a week and a half or two weeks. I've got some stuff coming up and so sadly I won't have much time to write. Sorry : ( But I'll try to update as soon as I can! Thank you all again!<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Sorry for the slow update, but this chapter is a lot longer than the others so hopefully it will make up for it! Thank you all so much for the reviews! Each one made me squeal in happiness! My neighbors were probably thinking I have a pet pig or something. So thanks to: Goldpen, yeah9fun, FMB, cat'akai, Mitchiba14, owl7498, and KuzukiTani for your wonderful reviews! I also have a question for you all. I have never written smut, but was thinking of giving it a try. I'm going to put a poll up on my profile so please vote to tell me if you want smut later on in this story! But please be warned it will probably be a fair way off. Thanks!

Now please enjoy this next chapter and let me know what you think!

-Aralia

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><p>I didn't go to see Toris at the library the next day. I figured I should try not to be too totally creepy. Besides I'd have all night to stare at him. Okay so just all evening, but still! God I wish it was all night. Okay calm down stalker Feliks.<p>

I spent my God awful break in my chair in the Union trying not to rip out my drop dead gorgeous hair from stress. Have I mentioned that I like hate math?

Finally the day came to an end, and I took the bus home. My stomach was starting to fidget, and I realized that I like had no food to give Toris when he came over. But I totally didn't want to cook for him because that'd be like waaaay too much. What do dudes eat when they hang out together? Pizza? That's like a friend food right? Totally not romantic. Okay awesome. When he got here I'd totally order a pizza. Or two. Shit how much does he eat?

I was so nervous I started cleaning. I like never clean. Okay well almost never. I do my dishes but that's like all. Toris would totally be grossed out if my apartment was a total mess though right?

Finally it was five-thirty and I didn't have anything else to clean. I sat on the couch trying to start reading my book for Russian Literature, but totally couldn't focus. My guts were churning and I like had to talk to Francis. He hadn't written me back yet though. Now was when I needed his crazy but totally wicked advice. Suddenly I heard someone knocking on my door.

Shit. Had I seriously wasted that much time just thinking?

I so had. It was six-twenty. Damn I like take forever to think! Another knock made me shut my book and rush to the door. I was in a skirt—totally adorable short jean one thank you!—so I straightened it out and opened the door.

Damn. I could get used to this. Toris stood next to his bike smiling at me. "Hello Feliks. Um... where can I put my bike? I couldn't find anything to chain it to..."

"Oh you can like totally just bring it in!" I opened the door wider and motioned for him to come in.

"Uh... Feliks it's a bicycle... and the wheels are sort of dirty... If you just tell me where to chain it that's fine..."

I rolled my eyes and walked away from the open door. Like God Toris you were so totally cute but sometimes you got stubborn about the dumbest things. I guess I do that too though... Okay I totally do I realized as I came back from the bathroom and put two hand towels on the floor in the corner of my living room. Then I walked back to Toris who was still standing like outside with the door totally open and grabbed his bike out of his hands. After setting in down with the tires on the towels I turned to him and smiled. "See. It's like totally fine. God Toris like get inside! Seriously though do you like want to spend forever outside?"

"Oh... uh... sorry." He stepped inside finally and shut my front door with a blush. Damn he was soooo cute! I wanted to grab him and kiss him. But I totally wouldn't. Because that would be so creepy.

And wrong. Like totally wrong too. You don't grab people and kiss them. Right?

I stared at him for a minute as he stared at the floor. He like hadn't moved from the front door and was still totally blushing.

"Oh ya! Toris do you like want pizza? I have like nothing to eat. What toppings do you want?" I grabbed my phone and then realized I like, didn't know anywhere to get pizza... I never really ate it, so I grabbed the huge ass phone book that had been left on my door step and started looking up places. He followed me further into the apartment to where I was at the table.

"Um... cheese is fine. Or what ever you want. I'm not picky."

I looked up at him. "Seriously boy? Like nothing special? Come on Toris. Like tell me what you like on your pizza."

He blushed and looked down... "Well... I like... well... most people don't really like it but... I like pineapple on cheese pizza..." He glanced up at me and then started to stammer again. "B-but uh! If you don't like it then please don't get it! I-I'm fine with whatever you would like to get!"

I watched him for a minute as he kept shifting uncomfortably. I'm so totally evil but Toris is so totally cute when he's nervous.

God. I am a creep.

"That sounds like totally wicked! I've like never had that on a pizza. Toris like how much do you eat?"

He blinked at me. Then just stared. "How much... do I eat?"

"Pizza Toris. Like come on boy! How much should I get?"

Toris smiled a little smile and blushed slightly. "Oh... um... I guess that one large should be fine for the two of us..."

"Awesome." I dialed the number and started to order. "Ya I need like one large pizza. Cheese with pineapple." Toris blushed and looked at the floor again. After I was done ordering and I had hung up I looked over at him.

"You know you can like sit down. Seriously Toris you are so totally silly." My body moved on its own and I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the couch. Once I saw his blush though and realized I was yet again holding his hand and I quickly let go. Shit I hadn't meant to do that.

"Uh... Like what movie do you want to watch? The pizza will be here in like a half hour so we can like talk and pick something out..."

"I'm fine with whatever you want." He was still beet red but was at least looking at me. I took that as like a totally awesome sign and I flopped down in front of the TV cabinet where my movies were. I didn't have many so I could fit them all in the bottom of it. "I mostly have like totally girly movies. Sorry... But surely there is like something you'd want to see."

I was still staring at my embarrassing movie collection filled with things like _Thirteen Going On 30_ and _Chasing Liberty_. Shit I don't think I have one normal 'boy' movie...

"Would you like to watch _Sense and Sensibility_? I like Jane Austen..." Toris was leaning over me and staring at my ridiculous movies. He looked so handsome right then... That and I wasn't minding how close he was standing to me...

No Feliks. It has been like two weeks. You haven't managed to like chase him off yet and you will totally not start now.

Then I came back to reality and realized that Toris was so asking to watch one of my favorite movies. I totally was rethinking kissing him.

"OMG! Toris you like, like _Sense and Sensibility_? It's totally one of my favorites! You are so wickedly awesome for that!" I grinned up at him and leaned my head back so that it rested on his knees. He blushed and smiled slightly.

"I'm glad you have it. I don't know many guys who like her work." That smile was busy melting my heart as I focused on the heat he was giving off behind me. Seriously it was like that electric blanket I love so much. I wondered how hot he could get...

Okay so I like forced myself to come back from pervert land before I started drooling and Toris like, ran out of my house. But I totally didn't move. So I just sat there staring dumbly up at him with like, all my weight pressed into his legs. Toris stared back with a super bad blush and opened his mouth. Then he shut it again. God he was adorable when he was nervous.

"Um... so do you want to start watching it now or... did you want to wait for the food?..." I could feel him trying to shift his feet out from under. Opps. Like how did I end up sitting on his feet? I shifted and like let his feet go. Toris quickly walked over to the couch and sat down while like totally staring at his feet the whole time.

What had like smashed them or something? God Toris I'm so not that fat.

...Am I?

I looked down at myself and decided hell no I wasn't! I was super sexy! Especially in that short skirt I had been sure to wear just for him. Oh damn... what if he didn't like me in skirts?

I stared at him as he stared at the floor.

Like by now he would have either told me or totally stopped talking to me right?

"Feliks?... Do you always stay this quiet with people over?" He looked up at me now and smiled slightly.

I shifted like uncomfortably, and then stood up so I could totally sit next to him on the couch. I wanted to get as close as I could without looking obvious. So just flop down. Ya that'll totally work!

"Sorry I'm just like not used to having another person here." I said it like totally in the most awesome voice ever.

And then I ruined it.

I sat on him.

Well okay so I like half sat on him. I totally misjudged and ended up with half my ass sitting on his leg. Shit! Can't I like do anything right?

"Like sorry Toris! I totally keep freaking you out don't I? I like so didn't mean to do that..." By now I was like as far away from him as I could get on the couch, so dying of the fire that had like broken out on my face.

"It's alright. You didn't freak me out Feliks."

"Ya right..."

He sighed at my response and looked over at me. "...Please tell me what you're thinking..."

"You're... You're just so cute and I like totally like you and I'm just super scared of scaring you off!" I spewed my confession at him. Okay so that's totally another problem I have... like no filter when people ask me what I'm thinking...

"You... You like me?..." His face was bright red. "What...what do you mean?..."

I almost ran off. I could feel my legs starting to like totally spring me off of that couch and out the door. But it was like totally my apartment. Where the hell would I go?

"I... I like you Toris... I've liked you since you tripped on me in class. I'm sure you're straight and I'm super sorry. I won't bother you anymore. I can't just be your friend. Sorry..." I wanted to like curl up in my closet and die. He would totally reject me. This is why I was so stupid to keep trying to get closer to him. He was just like so damn cute. I started to cry. Like a real cry this time. Totally loud wailing included. Yup. It sucked.

Ready even more to die from like embarrassment overload I got up and started to trip towards the bathroom.

"Feliks stop!" A hand reached out and grabbed my arm. I was pulled into like the softest hug ever. My heart stopped. I stopped crying like immediately. Toris was a little taller than me, and it was perfect. I just melted into his chest and rested my chin on his shoulder. I was holding my breath. This hadn't just happened. Pretty Boy was not standing there holding me.

"Feliks... please don't cry..."

I realized he was like so just hugging me to keep me from crying and I got super mad. I sooo wanted to hit him, but I so totally couldn't so I settled for shoving him slightly.

"Like don't be nice to me just to like, stop me from crying. Jerky Toris..." My voice totally didn't sound as mad as I felt. No. Like as hurt as I felt.

"Feliks... how could you think that? Why do you think I'm here? Why do you think I've been chasing you since you ran out of the library?" His eyes were soft and warm. Toris just stared at me.

"Because... oh hell Toris I don't fucking know!" Okay so now I sounded mad. He was making me nervous. Like just tell me already!

"I like you Feliks."

Shit did I like, hear that right?

"Uh... what?" I totally just like looked at him in shock.

"I like you." This time the blush like showed up in those totally perfect cheeks. Not too big, but soft with a little bit of roundness. God could I like rub my face on his?

Wait. OMG HE LIKE TOTALLY JUST SAID HE LIKED ME!

So yes. Hell yes I totally could.

So I did.

I felt like such a creeper afterwards, but I totally stepped forward wrapped my arms around him and rubbed my cheek into his. God he was so softer than I like ever imagined he would be.

Toris stiffened for a second and then like relaxed again. My brain had so shut off, so I was still like rubbing my face on him. Then he started laughing. It was super soft at first but then all of a sudden he just busted out laughing. It was like the loudest I'd ever heard him be. It totally snapped my brain back into working order.

Opps...

"Feliks do you do that to everyone who tells you they like you?"

I stepped back from him and looked at him. I still had my arms around him, and his hands had like somehow ended up on my shoulders.

"No... I've never had that happen... and you just... you looked like super soft okay?..." I blushed and started to pull away but he like held me where I was.

"...Thank you Feliks. Even if I can't always understand you... you are very sweet to me." He put his forehead to mine and I like almost fainted.

"Please tell me that we're like dating or something now." I nuzzled into him and sighed. Damn he smelled good.

"I'd like to be..."

"Awesome! It's like totally settled! Let's like snuggle on the couch now!" I grabbed him and... okay so I was totally creepy and kinda like threw him onto the couch... Opps...

"Uh.. Feliks?" I so wasn't paying attention to him because I was like way too busy curling up in his lap and listening to his heartbeat. Which was like beating so fast right now it was totally adorable!

Then the shitty doorbell rang. I wasn't moving. The jackass that was trying to ruin my awesome moment with Toris could just like wait. Forever if I wanted.

"Feliks... I think the pizza is here..." Toris tried to get out from under me but I like wouldn't let him go. "Feliks..." OMG! Did Pretty Boy just like whine? I stayed there for another minute hoping he would again. But he didn't, so I was super crushed, and rolled off him onto the couch. The doorbell rang again.

"Okay like hold on! Damn!" I yelled as Toris stood up and pulled out his wallet.

"No." I pointed a finger at him, and grabbed the money I had like set on the table earlier. When I opened the door though the pizza dude like choked on his own spit. Oh ya. That'll get you girls.

"Is this like enough?" I asked kinda rudely. This guy had just totally ruined my snuggle moment though!

"Dude... you're... in a..." He just stared at me. God he was like super dense. Get over it already!

"Yup I'm in a skirt! Why? Jealous of how hot my legs look?" I jutted out one hip and winked at him.

"Feliks! Why are you flirting with him?..." Toris showed up behind me still with money in his hand.

"Don't like worry Toris! You're so my boyfriend now! Hehe! My boyfriend!" I totally couldn't stop the squeal that came out of my mouth and I grabbed his hand.

"Alright fags. Just give me the money and you'll get your food."

Great. Looks like pizza jerk woke up. "Here ass. And for the fag comment you like so don't get a tip." I grabbed the pizza from him and threw the dollar bills at him. "Thanks! Now like screw off!" I cheerily said to him as I slammed the door in his face.

Toris stood in shock and looked at me. I patted him on the cheek and then moved into the kitchen. "Don't worry honey I was so just trying to piss him off. Old habits like die hard and all that jazz. Come get food!"

"You're my boyfriend..." He almost whispered it. At first I was like super worried that he was... hell I don't know like upset or something. When I turned around though, he had that adorable little smile again—standing with his hand on the cheek I'd touched.

"Toris you are the cutest thing ever!" I was busy grabbing plates and ripping off pieces of paper towels for napkins.

"But... why were you trying to make him angry?" Toris stepped up next to me tried to look me in the eye. I was moving though so it totally didn't work.

"Because he was a total jerk and deserved it."

"And you do that often?"

"Whenever anyone says rude things to me or looks at me ya. Like sorry Toris but it's what I do. I've got to like... I don't know like, protect myself somehow. If I cried like I did in Scarf Creep's class everyday I'd have totally already been beaten to death." I smiled over at him and like handed him his plate.

"Sorry... I'm just not used to this... I worry about you..." He blushed and took it slightly pushing a piece of the pizza with one finger.

Then in clicked in my brain.

"Oh... Toris... I'm sorry... I didn't even think about how you would feel if you dated me... Everyone will like totally make fun of you now because you're with the crazy tranny..." Shit. I like so couldn't do that to Pretty Boy. He was waaay to sweet and kind to deal with that.

"Feliks don't be silly. I don't mind other people. It will just take some getting used to. Besides at least now you won't be running away from me anymore." He smiled at me and went to the kitchen table.

"Nope! Couch! We're starting our movie." I grinned at him and winked.

No, I wouldn't be running away anymore. He'd so have to like pry me off of him. We settled onto the couch after I put in the DVD. I was probably so invading his personal space by leaning against him so much but oh well! God Toris, do you ever stop blushing you adorable thing? Maybe not.

So like an hour into the movie I remembered why I like never eat pizza. I had to like excuse myself and drink some Pepto Bismol in the bathroom, but my stomach kept making the strangest noises like ever.

"Are you alright Feliks?..." Toris glanced over at me with a worried look.

Just was busy trying to die.

Seriously Toris and I just started dating and an hour later my guts are doing this to me?

"I'll be like fine Toris!" Eventually I was, like thank God that it didn't get worse. If I hadn't downed the Pepto when I had, I probably would have been on the toilet the whole damn night. With luck and pink meds though I like, conquer all!

After the movie ended we just sat on the couch and talked. He told me more about his family, and they seemed super awesome. His mom had tried to take care of his cousins like a mother after Toris' aunt passed away. She always was like, cooking with them all and sewing them stuff.

"She used to sing this lullaby when she was baking. She sang it to me at night when I was a little boy and then continued to sing it as I grew up..."

He told me about his first year of college. His life was totally as lonely as mine was. I mean he like had his family and all, but no friends.

"I'm just so shy that I never could make any... I tried, but it always fell through... I guess you understand that though." He smiled at me gently.

"Uh duh! I think I like, invented having no friends. Except I have Francis. OMG! You should totally meet Francis! It's pretty late, but hopefully he'll still be up!" I totally grabbed my laptop and flopped back on the couch next to Toris. Damn he was warm. Like so cuddly...

"Who is Francis? And why do you have your computer?..." He tilted his head slightly to the side and looked at the screen as I signed into my account. I was so totally lucky that night because Francis was still on. It was like, two in the morning or something over there. God like when does Francis sleep? Before I could type anything though Francis sent me a message.

'_Mon cher! Now that you have his number you have to seduce him! I keep telling you my plan is perfect for this! Why do you not listen? All you need is a dozen roses, some dipping chocolate, and tight red underwear.'_

Toris and I like stared at the screen. Okay this was sooo not what Toris was supposed to see of Francis first.

"He's... quite... open isn't he..." Toris blinked a few times and then looked at me.

"Sorry... He's like a super awesome friend. He just is like totally weird sometimes."

'_OMG Francis you have like the worst timing ever! I open my computer to let Toris meet you and like this is what he sees?'_

'_Honhonhon! Toris is with you? You still should try the dipping chocolate! Just don't let it sit too long or it hardens... I made that mistake once and it was quite painful! But it is very nice to meet you Toris! Feliks has been absolutely lovestruck by you!'_

Toris and I both totally blushed after reading that and looked at each other. I wasn't sure what part he was blushing at though... Like where did Francis put that chocolate? Actually... wait I didn't want to know...

"You have been... lovestruck have you?" Toris smiled at me and gently took my hand.

"Well... like... so... ya... I have..." My brain had taken like a mini-vacation, and so I just sat there staring into Toris' totally lovely blue eyes.

"Should you write him back?..."

"Oh! Ya like totally! Wait, you so should!" I shoved my laptop into his lap and watched him as he stared at the computer.

"Um... okay..." He like sat there for a minute before starting to type. I totally leaned my head on his shoulder so I could read what he typed. OMG he smelled sooo good... and HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND! I like kept freaking out about it in my head.

'_It is nice to meet you Francis. I am glad that Feliks has a friend. I've been worried about him. Where do you live?'_

'_Oh mon cher! You did not tell him about me did you? Combien cruel! I am Francis Bonnefoy. I live in the most glorious city on earth—Paris, France! I spent a year in America in college. It was quite terrible! Americans are so uncouth. Ah! But I hope you are not!'_

'_Um... I don't think I am...' _I grabbed the computer back from Toris after he finished typing.

'_And like seriously Francis why should I have like already told Toris about you? He totally knows now! See! You are like the first person I introduced my boyfriend to!'_

Francis didn't write back. I was like sitting there waiting with Toris watching me.

"He isn't upset is he?..."

"Like hell he is! He's been totally giving me the creepiest ideas on how to like get you to date me. Where the hell is he?" I crossed my arms and started to pout. Like seriously Francis?

Suddenly my phone rang. I like handed Toris my computer and grabbed my phone off my dining room table. My pink heart phone charm dangled as I answered it.

"Like hello?"

"Feliks I am so proud of you! Which one of my wonderful ideas worked?"

I was like shocked. Francis was paying the money to call me for this?

"Dude like seriously? None of them. I was totally not going to do any of that. And like why are you calling?"

"That's Francis?" Toris stood up and walked over to me. I like so couldn't help it but I totally busted out laughing. Toris had totally known that because I'd said I didn't like any of Francis' ideas. That's awesome!

"God Toris you are so wicked! Here talk to Francis!" I like forced the phone on him and he started to stutter into the phone.

"U-um... Hello... Francis... This is... Toris..." Toris was blushing super bad and shifting uncomfortably. Sooo totally cute!

"Why hello Toris! Now that Feliks is off the phone I have something to tell you and you alone. Feliks, though we have never met, is one of my best friends. We have been together for years and we tell each other everything. Now ami, if you ever make Feliks cry―in a way that is actually your fault―I will take the next plane there and hurt you. I normally do not like violence, but I will make an exception if you cause Feliks harm."

It was supposed to be something I didn't hear. Totally. But I was standing super close to Toris and my phone was like kinda loud. I so couldn't help it—I grabbed the phone back from Toris.

"OMG Francis I like never knew you loved me that much!"

"Feliks! You were not supposed to hear that. But of course I love you. You are my closest friend. Now Toris?"

"Yes?" Toris had been listening too and leaned over to speak into the phone. I was like overheating from having his face so close. His eyes were so totally even more beautiful up close.

"Good. Now I assume you both can hear. What is your answer?"

"Of course I won't hurt Feliks. He... he is... wonderful..." Toris muttered shyly into the phone.

"Parfaite! Now have fun you two!" And he hung up.

"Damn Francis like say goodbye much?" Toris giggled at me while I glared at the cell phone.

"He seems like a very good friend. Even if he is a little... different... Did he really mean that about the... dipping chocolate?"

"Like probably. There's a ton of random stuff he's told me to do and he's totally done most of it."

"Oh... that's... brave?" Toris said it as a question and I started laughing.

"You are like awesome! Ya, but I totally don't think I'd call it brave. Anyway now that you've met Francis you have met like all my friends! Wicked right?" I winked at him and set my phone back on the table.

"How did you meet Francis? Well... I mean online." Toris sat back on the couch, which made me like totally happy! He was getting used to my apartment and me! I plopped myself down next to him, this time not sitting on him.

"We met on this fashion blog. We actually were arguing at first. He had called this totally adorable blouse tacky and I got super mad at him. Eventually we started talking about other posts and then started emailing each other. I really don't know when we started telling each other about our lives, but he's been my best friend for like forever. He's always been there for me." I was looking over at my computer. Not too long after we'd become friends Francis had mailed me this sticker he had made of himself. Like total narcissist right? He was totally blowing a kiss at the camera, and had made me promise I'd put it somewhere I'd see it everyday. I'd like hung it up with a magnet on my fridge. Every time I pulled anything out I saw Francis' dorky like, 'seduction' face. He was such a weirdo.

Toris hummed slightly as if letting me know he was listening.

"Thanks for like talking to him and all." I looked back at Toris and he smiled.

"He was... interesting. But I am glad I got to talk to him. Would you like to meet my cousins sometime?" Toris shifted slightly like he was nervous.

"Like duh Toris! Seriously you are so silly." I nuzzled my face into his shoulder and was a big creeper... Okay fine I like, smelled him okay? I don't think he noticed so it was totally fine. I'd been like getting whiffs of him all night... He smelled so good... not like anything though. He just smelled like him.

We sat that way for a while and didn't talk.

Finally Toris shook me slightly.

"Feliks..."

I guess I had like totally fallen asleep. But he was like, so super comfortable how could I not?

"Feliks I'm going to head home. It's late and you should go to bed." Oh God. Was Toris like running his fingers through my hair?

Hell ya he was!

But then the hand was gone, and like a second later so was the shoulder I was leaning against. I like somehow caught myself before I totally fell over and looked up at Toris.

"Sorry... I thought you were awake... Sorry Feliks." He blushed and like, shuffled his foot across my carpet.

I looked over at my clock and realized it like, was eleven. I don't even know how long we'd sat on the couch. Like how long had I slept? Opps...

"It's like alright. Don't worry Toris. I... I had a totally awesome time tonight." I tried to sound cool as I stood up, but I totally muttered. Luckily Toris was close enough to hear me and smiled.

"I did too. Thank you for inviting me. I'll... I'll see you tomorrow in class?"

I grinned at him and nodded. "Because you're my boyfriend!" I blurted it out without like, thinking at all. Toris blushed again and nodded.

"Yes... I am... Good night Feliks."

"Good night Toris."

Toris got his bicycle and we walked to the door. As I opened it he turned to look at me.

Before I could like think whether or not I should kiss him, Toris like almost jumped towards me and pecked me on the cheek. Then he totally rushed out the door and got on his bicycle.

I was still in shock and before I could say anything Toris had like, peddled away faster than I thought was possible on a bike.

Damn. Pretty Boy just kissed me.

I squealed for like ten minutes straight, and then finally was able to calm down enough for bed. I was totally exhausted from stressing so much earlier that day.

As I fell asleep all I could think was: Best day ever.

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><p>AN: Thanks again for reading! Please review! : 3<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

AN: ACK! Please don't totally hate me for being so slow! But here is the next chapter, and though it is small the next will be longer! Thanks to: Catsdon'tcry, Goldpen, cat'akai, FMB, InnocentArcticFox, Mitchiba14, owl7498, KuzukiTani, Uesue, DoYouUnderstand, Rainstorm-Mosspath, Rilliane l'Austriche, Rocksan Sukaku, and K-Star Happy Face for your reviews! So many of you! Thank you thank you thank you! Hopefully this chapter isn't too boring, so please let me know what you think!

-Aralia

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><p>The next morning I woke up and felt like I was totally stuck in a musical. You know, where everyone randomly dances and breaks into song? And like, where birds land on your finger and sing too? Totally how I felt then.<p>

I had a boyfriend. My first boyfriend. Okay so not really but like, the first boyfriend I really wanted. There was this one guy my freshman year, but he was totally annoying as hell. I sort of just dated him because he was there. He was also the only gay boy interested in me in like, a hundred mile radius. He had the worst laugh ever though. And dear God, he laughed at EVERYTHING.

Literally.

We had one class together, a basic english class everyone had to take, and our professor was this super old man. I mean like, late seventies. Why the hell he was still there, I will totally never understand. But anyway, so there we were sitting in class when our professor had a heart attack. It didn't kill him, but it was totally bad enough that he slouched onto the floor in pain, and the paramedics had to come get him.

And that freak of a boy I was with? He started giggling. Like a creeper! He tried to tell me later that it was some sort of nervous giggle, but I'd totally had enough by that point and told him to screw off.

And before that there was this guy I 'talked' to online. That phrase is so totally stupid. But it's like, what everyone says. Oh no, we're not dating we're just talking right now. What the hell does that mean? But it like lasted a month and then we just stopped emailing each other and shit.

But Toris? Toris was someone I wanted to keep around. And even though I was scared shitless, I was going to make sure he didn't run off. He was too awesome.

It was Friday though, and so I didn't know if Toris would want to see me. I like, hoped so, but we didn't have class. I wanted to text him right then, to ask him when I could see him, but I was totally worried I'd smother him. I mean we just like, started dating last night. I decided to wait a bit, and then ask if he wanted to get together... maybe. Shit, I didn't know what I'd do yet, but I was nervous as hell! I was finally in a relationship with someone who I could totally fall for.

I seriously did not want to screw up.

I got up, and after worrying all morning about whether I should call Toris, he texted me.

_Good morning Feliks. I'm sorry if this is a little early, but I was wondering if you would like to meet today?_

_Totally Toris! Like when and where? I was worried I like, wouldn't see you since we don't have class._

_Feliks of course I want to see you. I have to work though when we normally have class and into the evening a little..._

_Can I come by the library? You still have to totally help me with my super evil math homework!_

_I'd love to. I'll see you around two then._

I melted into my chair and sighed. I had another sort-of-date with Toris! Except I had to do shit math. Ug. Like after this I'd like better get to hold his hand for a thousand years.

Okay so like not that long. I'd eventually totally have to pee, and that would be waaay too embarrassing.

Maybe just a couple hours of holding hands.

Shit. Would Toris let me hold his hand in public? Like when would he want me to in general?

Stuck in confusion, I finished getting dressed and forced myself through my morning classes. After they finished though, I still had two hours to kill before I finally got to see Toris.

I ate lunch and read some more of that book for Russian literature. It wasn't bad or anything, but damn like I hope that all the books won't be that depressing. It must be because it's so cold. I'd freeze my ass off and be super mean too if I was like out in the middle of nowhere.

Anyway! I finally got to see Toris! I was super nervous—my hands were sweaty and gross. There was no way I could hold Toris' hand like that. He'd probably stare at me in disgust and like, tell me to get a paper towel or something.

Toris was so adorable at that desk. It was a side desk for the entrance that like, almost never got used. The library didn't want people stealing shit though, so they put a desk at the back to check out your books. I always felt super sorry for the people who got stuck at it.

Now I was jumping for joy.

Not literally though. I did that at home, thank you.

But honey, Toris was sitting there fidgeting and staring at the clock. I wanted to jump right then. I'm totally evil, and had decided to get there a little late. He'd said 'around two' and after like, a half hour trying to figure out what that meant, I decided to get there a little late just so I wouldn't crowd him.

"Hey Toris! Sorry I'm late!" I threw my backpack down on the desk and walked around it. He had grabbed another chair, and set it next to him so I plopped down in it.

"Oh don't worry Feliks. I wasn't waiting long, and besides I was able to do some homework."

I leaned in and... okay well I think I like, leered at him. He started blushing again, and his eyes got super wide as I got closer.

"Hmm? You weren't waiting? And who was watching the clock with like a total nervous face?" My smile got wider as his blush only got worse, and I knew I was right.

"I...Well... You..." Toris sighed, crossed his arms, and buried his face in them. "Yes... I was waiting for you..."

He looked so adorable just then I couldn't stop myself—I leaned forward and rubbed my nose in his hair.

"I'm sorry I kept you waiting Toris..." I whispered softly into his hair.

Then my brain started talking to me again, well like yelling actually, and I pulled away from him. We watched each other out of the corners of our eyes, and I could see a blurry Toris looking back at me.

"So! Math! Like save me from the hell I'm in!" Shoving my book over to him, I tried to calm down. Toris was just so damn cute.

Twenty minutes in I was in tears and remembering why I hated math.

"Feliks... It's a square... a four sided figure. Squares optimize the area inside for how much fencing you can use. See? You have 400 meters of fencing, so how long do the sides need to be to have the most area inside?"

"It's like totally stupid is what it is! And how many cows is he like planning on putting in there?" I huffed.

Toris looked at me for a moment. "I don't think that has anything to do with the math problem..."

I was so stressed I was about to start crying again. "But Honda did like this crazy thing with a stupid graphing calculator and like this little beeping thing that went along the graph line and we had to like find the high point and then—"

Suddenly a hand was over my mouth. I looked over to Toris, but he looked like had headache... His eyes were squinted shut too...

"Feliks. I know what Honda told you. But look at the problem." His hand didn't move, and as tempted as I was to lick him, I decided that it'd be like better not to.

I looked at the problem again, but still didn't see it. He seemed to understand that and sighed.

"Just believe me. Try working the problem out the way I said." He seemed super frustrated so I shut up, and did the problem.

It worked out. After checking the answer in the back of the book I was ready to kiss him again. "Oh my God Toris it like worked! You're so super awesome! I could kiss you!"

The hand flew to my mouth again. "I'm glad you stopped crying Feliks... but please remember this is a library and where I work..."

Oh shit... was it me yelling that I wanted to kiss him? Opps...

"God Toris I'm so totally sorry I said that! I like won't in public anymore." Toris looked confused for a second.

"Feliks, I didn't want you to yell. You are so self conscious." A smile slowly showed on his lips so I relaxed. After shifting my chair closer to him I settled in to do more math. We worked for another hour or so, and I totally got all my homework done. It was like, the first time I'd ever finished all my math homework.

"God Toris thank you sooo much! Now I can totally forget math until Tuesday!"

He laughed softly and smiled. "You're welcome, but don't forget everything."

OMG. Toris was teasing me! I wanted to squeal, but I didn't. It was a like, library after all and I'm super respectful.

Ya, I thought you'd laugh at that too.

So anyway, when we finished Toris looked a little guilty. "Feliks I'm sorry... but I have to work for several more hours."

"Oh, that's like totally fine!" Honestly I was super crushed, but totally wasn't going to say that.

The rest of the weekend was super boring. Toris and I talked a lot, but didn't get to do anything together. I never wanted it to be Monday like, so badly in my life.

Monday finally came, and so did Russian Literature.

"OMG Toris like, hurry up!" I shouted into my phone. "I like, haven't seen you all weekend and now we finally get to see each other and you're so damn slow!" I knew I was being clingy and stupid, but I totally wanted him!

Not like that.

Okay, totally like that. But not right now, right now I just wanted him in front of me.

"I'm sorry Feliks, but you know my class only got out three minutes ago. I'll be there as soon as I can. Will you save me a seat please?"

"Like, duh you silly thing! Start running! Bye!"

"Goodbye." We both hung up and I pouted as I walked into the classroom. After picking some seats for us I stared at the board. Why was I being so totally insane? I couldn't sit still, and I couldn't stop thinking about Toris. I couldn't sleep, and wasn't wanting to eat. I had to force myself to do everything except talk to him. I never got like this. Normally I hate people, and I get sick of them super fast.

Why was Toris different?

"Are you alright?" His lovely voice was suddenly right by my left ear. I jumped slightly and felt totally stupid. All this obsession with Toris and I like, didn't even notice him sitting next to me.

"There you are! Finally!" I... okay I sort of like, squealed and threw myself on him... But at least Toris didn't seem to mind. He laughed softly and hugged me back.

"I didn't take that long Feliks. Class is about to start though."

I let go of him and saw that Scarf Freak was walking past us. Wait, why the hell was he turning around?

"Toris, I almost forgot. I brought the book you asked me about. Please let me know what you think, дa? I am most interested." The creeper handed Toris this huge ass book, and then finally walked off.

But not after starting at MY BOYFRIEND for like a fucking minute!

"Toris like, what the hell? When did you talk to him?" I tried to whisper, and think I like actually succeeded, because no one stared at us.

He seemed surprised though, which totally pissed me off.

"I went to his office hours. I had a few questions, and then we talked about literature for a bit. Feliks... why are you upset?"

"Whatever." I huffed and turned away. Toris should totally have known why I was pissed. I mean seriously though? That weirdo was like, all hot and bothered for him. Either Toris was super dense, or a total ass hole.

I sat thinking as Scarf Monster talked and Toris took notes.

Toris totally wasn't an ass. Which had to mean that he was dense. Right? I glanced over at him from where I was—resting my head on my folded arms.

No. He wasn't a jerk. He was just blind and totally liked literature.

I gave a totally huge sigh and settled in to actually try to listen. He just talked about a bunch of random crap—why this dead dude may have wrote what he did. Well sorry your wife was a total slut but like, why do I have to care about that? Ug.

When class finally ended Toris glanced over at me.

"Are you... um..." He fidgeted slightly and then started packing his stuff up.

"I'm like not mad anymore Toris. I totally know you just wanted to talk about books and shit. But Toris be careful okay? That guy is creepy, and totally wants you." I tried to say it like, sternly... or something. I totally must not have though, because Toris just smiled.

"Feliks you are just being silly. He's a nice man."

Sure. Because that giant who had a voice like a little kids was totally harmless.

Bull shit.

I'd stay jealous no matter what Toris said. I'd just have to like, work out a way to keep my boyfriend away from him.

We walked out of class and then Toris coughed slightly. It was a totally cute little cough—the kind that's suppose to like, break the ice or something.

"Yes?" I leaned over and put my face close to his. He blushed bright red at how close I was stuttering out, "U-uh... I... Feliks... Would you like to... go to dinner with me?..." The last words were sort of whispered, but I still totally heard them.

"Like totally Toris! Why wouldn't I you big dork? When? Where? Casual? Formal? Tell me!"

His blue eyes widened at the questions and it took him a second to answer.

"Um... I was thinking Friday night. I don't have to work this Friday so we can go early if you'd like, and spend the evening together..."

I hugged him and rubbed my nose into his neck. "You are so totally wicked. Have I told you that?"

"You may have mentioned it." Toris' voice was muffled as he buried his face in my shoulder. He was probably super embarrassed, but I had totally never been happier.

Like, ever.

"We can decide where and the rest later in the week if you'd like." We let go of each other and I nodded.

This week was going to be the like, longest wait ever.

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><p>AN: Again thank you for reading and please review! : 3<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Okay guys... please oh please don't hate me for taking so long to update! My internal organs decided to have a party. Sadly they did not invite me or the doctors. Because of this I've been super sick, and not been able to write. I'm so ridiculously sorry for taking so long! But now I'm starting to feel better, so I'll be able to start updating again! Thank you so much for your patience and I'm so sorry! But this chapter is fairly long, so hopefully it'll somewhat make up for the late update. Please review! Thank you to everyone who has!

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><p>The week went by super slow. Toris and I saw each other fairly often, but something kept like, nagging me. Oh, that's right. He went to see Scarf Monster at his office hours again.<p>

And the giant talked to him before and then after class on Wednesday. Toris told me to go ahead and go home since they were going to talk. I huffed angrily out of the room and pouted the rest of the day. That is until Toris called me to apologize, and I totally forgot to be pissed. I was too happy to talk to him.

Friday rolled around finally and I was totally buzzing all day. Toris told me he wanted to take me to this super fancy Italian restaurant. He like had to make reservations and shit. I've never been anywhere where you had to make reservations. I mean I like never went out to eat, and when I did it was usually totally cheap places. I hated going out to eat. Seriously, who likes eating alone? And I was always alone.

Until now.

I spent the rest of the day after class hurrying, and trying to figure out what I should wear on my super awesomely wicked first date with Toris! I totally wanted to wear a dress... and Toris was totally fine with me in them at school... But like this was out in the world. It would have like rich old people peering from over wine glasses and crap. Shit, was Toris like old enough to drink? I still had another year after my birthday in November, and Toris hadn't actually told me when his birthday was. He like totally couldn't be too much older than me because we were like in the same year. But there was like this totally middle-aged lady in our Russian Literature class too... Oh well I'd just like ask him!

I freaked out, in like the most literal sense, over what to wear for hours and finally decided on a suit. I didn't really want to wear it, and almost never did. I like, only pulled it out of the closet when I wanted to make people super angry. Because sometimes people just have to see that I'm just as hot and sexy in a suit as in dress. I'm just wicked like that!

Anyway, so I put this suit on and waited for Toris. I actually totally didn't know how we were getting to the restaurant. Neither of us had cars, and all Toris had was a bicycle. Suddenly though I heard a knock on my door, and a like totally nervous cough.

Toris was finally here! I practically ran to the door and tried to open it all smooth and shit... but that did not happen. I think it like, hit the wall when I threw it open.

"Toris! Let's go! I'm so ridiculously excited!" I totally did not shout as I hugged him. Because I am like so too cool to do that. Right?

Okay fine. I yelled. I didn't mean to but it like, just popped out...

Toris seemed surprised for a second and then hugged me back and laughed.

"I'm excited too. But Feliks..."

"Ya?" I kept my arms around his neck but backed up enough where I could like, stare into his wonderful eyes. Damn I'm lucky.

"Do you... um... is that what you want to wear?..." Toris blushed and trailed off while staring at his shoes. Or my shoes. I had no way of knowing.

"Well... not really... but I thought you'd like it. Do you not?..." Suddenly I was worried he didn't like me dressed like this... Did he only like me dressed as a girl? What if like that's all I had going for me? Shit...

I guess I must have started looking like, upset or something. Toris looked at me and smiled slightly.

"Feliks you are beautiful. You look just as beautiful in this as you do in a dress." He took a second to kiss me on the forehead. "I just want you to wear what you want. Whatever that is."

I stared at him for a long minute.

Honey, I seriously don't think anyone has ever like, even gotten close to telling me that.

"Toris. You are perfect." I smiled at him, gave him a quick hug, and then ran upstairs to my bedroom.

Ya... problem is I totally hadn't thought about what dress I'd wear because I like, had planned on the suit. So now I had to dig through my closet, and try to pick out the perfect first date outfit.

I don't even know how long I was up there, but by the time Toris knocked on my bedroom door I had a like tower of dresses on my bed.

"Feliks?... We need to leave soon... Are you ready?..."

"Ug Toris this is so difficult! Like what color do I look best in?" I whined at the door. Normally I would have totally flung it open to talk to the person, but I was in my underwear... And that was something for like, later in the relationship.

"...Green..." Toris' quiet voice woke me out of my daydream where I did open the door in my underwear. Just so you know dream Toris was like, totally happy about it. It a certain way if you know what I mean. Hint hint. Wink wink.

Yes, I am a perv for Toris. Now like moving on.

Wait, green? OMG he seriously just said that! And I had the perfect dress! It totally made my eyes look awesome. It also just so happened to show off my legs, which I always enjoy.

I wriggled into the dress, and grabbed the appropriate heels and purse. Then, after fluffing my hair to make it look a little more feminine, I opened the door.

Toris was about to say something, but didn't. I wanted to like squeal because he was just totally staring at me!

"Ready to go sexy?" I said as I winked and jutted out one hip in a seductive pose. Toris' face flushed and his mouth opened... and then it closed. He was so totally cute! I loved flustering him, and totally started planning how to more often.

"U-um... yes let's... let's go." He said as he turned and started walking down the stairs.

"Toris... like how are we getting there?" It had been bothering me for a while, even though I had the most adorable mental picture of Toris pedaling his bike with me perched on the back.

Okay, we'd totally have to do that sometime!

But I so did not want to in this dress.

"Oh, I borrowed my cousin Eduard's car." As I followed behind him I couldn't really see his expression.

Why did he sound slightly frustrated?

I blew it off and locked the door after us. The car was normal. Okay so I like, know nothing about cars. It had four doors, four tires, and I assume an engine.

Boom, it's a car.

Oh, and it was blue.

Now! Back to super awesome first dateness!

Toris had told me to dress up, but hadn't told me where exactly we were going. Since I totally never went out I had even less of an idea. We didn't really talk in the car. Toris seemed super nervous, so I just sat there and stared at him.

Okay so that probably like totally didn't help, but I like watching him. So I did. When he finally parked Toris looked over at me.

"Um... Are you ready?" God damn that boy could blush more than... what's pink? My favorite sweater. Anyway you'd think he'd stop after a bit. Oh well! That's what made my Toris so damn cute!

My Toris? God I hope so...

The restaurant was a cute little place, sort of out of the way from the majority of restaurants. I totally didn't look at the name, and just walked right in. Toris I think like, tried to open the door for me, but I was too fast. I was already inside and smiling at the Spanish dude who smiled right back at me. So cute! Ah, smiles are so wicked! I don't get them much.

"Um... I had a table for two under Laurinaitis..." Toris had come to stand next to me, and my smile got like, even larger after hearing him speak. I liked being with him. I liked being a table for two under Laurinaitis. I started feeling all sappy and wanted to hug him. I decided to settle for holding his hand. There were like a ton of people, some of whom were already watching me.

A ton of people...

Suddenly I looked up at the silly Spanish maitre d' with wide eyes. I was going to embarrass Toris in front of a restaurant full of people.

After a minute of watching us he spoke, "I have the perfect table for you two. It is one of our more private tables. Perfect for lovey-dovey couples!"

I wanted to hug him. Hell, I wanted to kiss him. He grinned at me and winked.

"My boyfriend is shy too. Ah, but he blushes like a tomato!" He held the menus to his chest in a dreamy way as he led us towards the back of the dining area. Like a tomato? Seriously? Like, how would that be cute at all? Nothing like my adorable pink Toris. If Toris turned red he'd look like he was having like... a heart attack or something.

Wait, do people like turn red in the face during a heart attack?

Probably. Anyway so like we totally got stared at. This old dude with glasses like grabbed his fuck toy's hand in shock. Okay, sorry I guess that's really rude. But this chick was like late twenties with totally fake boobs. Sorry honey but physics doesn't hold them up like that.

We finally got to the table, and Toris almost ran me over trying to get to my chair before me. My ridiculously awesome boyfriend actually pulled my chair out for me! Now girls how many of your boys do that?

Ya that's right. Toris is perfect.

We ordered water and then started looking over the menu. Antonio, after like daydreaming about his tomato boy for a thousand years he finally told us his name, left to tell someone about our drinks. I watched Toris for a second, and then looked at my menu. I didn't know what I wanted...

But holy shit when I looked back up where were Toris' eyes? Hell ya honey they were on my legs. MY LEGS! Thank you God! You totally DO exist!

"So you were looking at my legs when we first met hmmm?" I leaned across the table towards him and winked.

Now I know what Antonio meant when he called his boyfriend a tomato. Toris wasn't totally red, but he got pretty damn close! He tried to do that 'Oh I wasn't looking at you, I was staring at something else' thing.

Okay boys. Lesson number one is that never works. Girls learn that one too. It just makes it even more obvious when you like, look away as awkwardly and quickly as you can.

Total give away.

"Um... I... Uh..." He shifted in his seat, and I just leaned forward more.

"I'm listening."

"You... the skirt you had on... it just... looked really good on you..." Toris proceeded to completely die of embarrassment, and I fell more in love. Why is he so amazing?

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "Thank you Toris."

Suddenly two waters were plopped down in front of us and we looked over to see a little Italian with a really random hair curl. I didn't think hair could like, even do something like that.

"I'm Feliciano! Veh~ A dinner for two lovers!" The Italian grinned at us. Toris started blushing, totally as usual. Was Toris thinking of us as lovers? Not like just in love lovers, but like I want to get naked with you lovers? Of course then I started think about that too... kissing his bare chest... his fingers in my hair...

I had to shake my head to clear it. My pervert brain was getting like, super annoying. Every time I got around Toris I turned into a total creep.

I promise I haven't always been this way.

"No?" The waiter's confused tone brought me back to reality. I'd just shook my head no to being lovers with Toris...

"Uh no! No, we are lovers. Well like, sorta, but not like naked lovers or anything. Not that I don't want to with you, but I mean its like, totally too early and like..." I trailed off completely losing what I was trying to say. "I was trying to clear my head..." I finally explained, though more to the napkin in my lap than Toris.

"Oh! Fantasies can be wonderful for a relationship! My Ludwig is very fond of them! It keeps things spicy!" Feliciano smiled at us. He had such an odd, but adorable smile. Seriously, how does he keep his eyes closed like that?

Toris and I both blushed this time.

I wondered what his Ludwig would think if he knew that their sex secrets were being told to two random strangers. At the Italian's place of employment no less.

"Uh... um... Could I have... the manicotti please?..." And that is totally another reason I love Toris. Thank you for totally saving us from that!

"I'd like the minestrone soup, and a salad please. Italian dressing." I handed him the menu while totally trying to avoid eye contact. I was scared if I looked at him I'd like, start picturing him with 'Ludwig,' whoever the hell that was. No matter what I so did not want to get that stuck in my head.

"Do you want something more? You don't have to worry Feliks." I looked up at Toris and smiled.

"You are so sweet Toris. Completely. But I really do like minestrone soup, and I haven't had it in a super long time. Thank you for dinner."

"I'm glad you came... I'm so happy I met you." I melted immediately as he reached out and softly took my hand. We talked about our days as we waited for the food. He didn't have much homework this weekend which was totally rare for him. I always had homework. Sometimes I did it, and most of the time I just didn't feel like it.

"PASTAAAA~"

A second later water was covering the table and Toris was trying to sop it up with his napkin. Feliciano was back with our food.

Why the hell would you like, scream at a couple and scare the shit out of them? I'd knocked over my water glass with my hand when I jumped. But it totally wasn't my fault! Loud Italians should not be allowed to sneak up on people like that!

"Veh~ I'm sorry!" His eyes were open all the way now, and it was weird. He didn't look right with them open. So weird...

Antonio had bobbed over and helped us clean up the mess. Eventually we were given food, and our overactive Italian was given a lecture.

Actually it was one of the scariest scoldings I'd ever heard. I won't repeat what was said. Hell I don't even know half of what Feliciano's scary doppelgänger said. He stormed up to him and dragged him off. The commotion from the kitchen was terrifying. You'd think with his yelling and Feliciano's crying that someone was being killed.

"My Romano is adorable isn't he?" Antonio sighed and wandered off.

"...That was his tomato?" Toris looked tempted to giggle.

"Now we know why he turns red..." I snickered.

We ate our dinner in awkward silence. You know the kind right? You want to tell the other person something but the whole time your head is like, "That's a dumb thing to say." and "He totally doesn't need to know that." and then "He sure as hell doesn't WANT to know that." So I just ate my soup. It was delicious, but I was more focused on not letting it dribble down my chin.

Yes sometimes I'm like totally retarded when I eat.

Wait can you still say shit like that? Okay fine, I'm like, eating challenged.

Anyway.

So we sat there. I think we tried to talk but nothing really happened. Toris seemed as focused on his food as I was so I like, just let him eat.

The little Italian cleared our plates away and looked so totally depressed I wanted to hug him and feed him a cupcake. I guess the tomato yelled at him a lot more than we thought.

"Um... Feliks would you... would you like to split a dessert?" Toris glanced up at me sheepishly.

The chance to share food with my sexy boyfriend? Hell ya I will take that offer!

"Totally! What do you want Toris?" I propped my chin up on my hand and stared at him.

"Um... Would you mind if we tried the strawberry gelato? It sounds good."

"I love strawberries! You just keep getting more wicked Toris! Bring it on!"

The gelato was delicious, and I had particular fun thinking of how Toris and I were sharing a wet sticky dessert. One that melted and became liquid, and both our spoons dipped into the same bowl...

Anyway. Dessert was delicious. Toris payed, like the gentleman he is, and we left. I wasn't sure what he had in mind for the rest of the date.

"Feliks I was wondering if you'd like to go for a walk?" I nodded figuring he would just take me to a park or something. Instead we drove in silence out of the city. For some reason the country scenery flashing by the window was subduing me. I felt calm, but tired. I didn't know why. "Uh... Toris where are we going?" He didn't answer me and just shook his head.

Finally Toris stopped the car.

"If we walk through these fields for a bit there it something I'd like to show you." We got out and he offered me his hand. I wasn't too excited about hiking in heels, but Toris wanted to show me something, so I totally couldn't refuse.

Okay he said a little bit? Nope. It was a long bit. A pretty long bit, but I like, had to take off my heels after a short time. My feet were totally killing me. It was starting to get dark by the time Toris stopped walking. Neither of us had said much the whole way. I normally hated silence, I'd had too much of it in my life, but this was something I didn't mind.

"I found this place a long time ago. I was visiting some friends with my family who live nearby. I went for a walk and got lost. The farmer who owns the land we walk through uses it for grazing, but lately hasn't done anything with it. So I didn't think he'd catch us, or mind if he did." Toris stood on a slight hill overlooking another field. This one was different though. I don't think the land had ever been touched. Wildflowers and small shrubs dotted the field, and the clear sky wasn't covered by any trees. Toris sat down and gestured for me to do the same. As the sun went down we settled into the grass with contented sighs. I liked fields like this. Peaceful and quiet. No one to judge me or talk to. Except Toris now, but he was my exception.

We laid there and gazed up at the stars in silence. It was comfortable, but I wanted more. I was getting into an odd mood... not the good kind... I was falling totally head over heels for Toris, and was nervous as hell. Was he the same? Was he happier when he didn't know me? Or was he like me? So lonely he could burst?...

"Hey Toris?... Are you happy?" It came out as a whisper. I honestly hadn't meant to ask him that...

"...I am now..." His voice was just as quiet as mine.

"I mean... before you met me... and even now when we're apart, are you happy?" Toris finally turned to look at me.

"Well... no not really... Before I met you... I was lonely, but honestly I don't think I realized how lonely. I don't talk to many people, and I think I had given up that I would. You made me work for it, but you were the first person I wanted to talk to, that I wanted to be around in a very long time..." The way he said those words... they were simple but hurt me.

They hurt me because I knew exactly what he meant.

I reached out for him, and I could feel tears in my eyes... like a total idiot... I was ready for him to sit there, or back away and laugh at me. Toris didn't though.

He reached out to me too. Toris wrapped his arms around me, and I cried for the both of us. I don't know how long we laid there, but a while after I stopped crying he broke the silence.

"I should get you home Feliks... Can... Would it be alright if we saw each other tomorrow?" I relaxed my hold on him and nodded. I didn't say much as we got in the car, and he drove me home. Then again neither did Toris. I hadn't felt awkward before, but now I certainly did... Had I ruined the lovely evening he had planned for us? Was he upset with me? Did he think I was stupid or too emotional? As I got out of the car I had all those things running through my mind...

That is until I started unlocking my door and heard a quiet cough behind me.

"Oh my god Toris. I'm so totally sorry. I just... I was spacing out..."

"Is something wrong?..." He stepped towards me. Very close I might add. I still wasn't used to having someone be so close to me... in many ways.

"I'm just... I'm sorry for crying and ruining you evening... I had such a wonderful time with you and I don't know what was wrong I'm just so not used to having someone around me to talk to and to... well hold me..." A hand slowly brushed my cheek as I gushed.

"I was surprised Feliks... But I want you to show me your feelings. So please don't worry. I had a wonderful evening too." I looked up at him and smiled a little.

Then I did something I'd wanted all night and then some. I reached up, took his chin in my hands, and kissed his lips. Did I mention how perfect his lips are? Wet, but not slobbery. Warm and soft. When he'd surprise kissed me the first time I hadn't gotten a good feel... or taste... But I'd save pushing my tongue into his mouth for another time. Tonight wasn't the night for passion. I needed something warm and reassuring. I think he did too.

Toris sighed slightly and wrapped his arms around me. It was a long, slow, gentle kiss. The kind you don't get much. It seems like everyone is so focused on hot kisses that they forget how wonderful the other kind can be.

And I was thoroughly enjoying the other kind.

Eventually we broke apart gently to breathe. Toris pressed his forehead to mine and whispered to me. "Goodnight Feliks. Thank you."

"Thank you Toris. Good night." He let me go and started back to the car. I waved to him, and after unlocking my door I went inside. There I heaved a sigh and tried to calm down enough to go to bed... I felt odd. Light and yet heavy... Toris was wonderful... but for the first time I started to worry a lot... Okay well like, more than usual. I had a lot of baggage. A lot of shitty baggage. What if Toris didn't feel like dealing with that? What if he didn't want to have to deal with my crying jags and craziness?

But he had held me. I had reached out to him and he had understood.

Still unsure I got ready for bed and finally collapsed into my blankets and pillows. Tomorrow we could talk more. Tomorrow maybe I could learn more.

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><p>AN: Thanks again! Please let me know what you think!<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

AN: So this one is short. XD Sorry about that. But I'll try to get the next one up soon! Thanks to BehindTheSky, Apollonia-Artemisia, Catsdon'tcry, Oceanfur, XLiliya BraginskiX, ShadowSkate, Rainstorm-Mosspath, Rargamonster, OTURAN-IKAMUZU1, KuzukiTani, and Artemis Klein for all your reviews! You all are so wonderful, so keep it up. ; ) They make me happy! Again sorry for the short chapter, but I should have the next one up fairly soon. Please let me know what you think! : 3

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><p>The next morning I wrote a ridiculously long email to Francis. After telling him everything, yes water spilling everything, I plopped down on the couch. I was somehow like, still super tired and didn't feel like moving.<p>

Luckily Toris was the same way. He came over around one, and we decided to be lazy. I went to change into sweat pants—after asking Toris if that was okay. He giggled at me for even asking. We ended up eating popcorn and watching _Moulin Rouge_.

And yes I did cry.

And you know what? So did Toris. Hell ya, my boy is perfect!

"I'd never seen that before... It was beautiful..." He looked sheepish after crying over the ending, but I simply kissed him for it.

"Want to watch something else?" He nodded and yawned. This time we went with something more lighthearted and watched _Stardust_.

Have I mentioned how totally awesome Toris is? I've never ever had anyone like him. I've never had someone I can like, wear sweatpants around and do absolutely nothing with.

We talked some and sat quietly some. The day was totally wonderful.

Monday brought back my problems though. After Russian Literature Toris stayed to talk to Scarf Freak. I had to go home alone... again...

And it only got worse from there...

Toris kept seeing Ruso Freak in his office hours. Every freaking day he had office hours over the next three weeks. Not counting the times they talked after class. It was totally pissing me off. Scarf Monster stared at my unsuspecting boyfriend with rapist eyes all the time.

All the time.

All through class. He now lectured directly to Toris. The entire fucking time. And did my adorable Toris see anything creepy in this?

"He just knows I'm interested."

No. No he didn't.

The even creepier shit, yes it did get worse, started the Monday Toris apologized to me and said he was going to get coffee with Evil Scarf Man.

Yes, you like totally heard me right. MY boyfriend told me he was going on a date. WITH A FREAK OF NATURE.

I, of course did what any normal person would do. I stalked the hell out of them. Yes honey. I was reduced to stalking my own boy.

Great times right?

FML.

So Toris totally said, "Would you like to go to the library cafe?" which both pissed me off and made me happy. I wouldn't have to walk far, but that was our spot! Where he brought me! And now Ruso Scarf Creep was going to totally taint the whole damn building in his freakiness!

"Нет, I would like to take you somewhere else Toris. The place I have in mind is more... private. It is better for conversation." The mountain of a man moved closer to Toris as they walked. I wanted to light his dick on fire then cut it off. He was standing way too fucking close to my boy.

Yes. I could say that all I wanted now. MY boy. Mine.

Not an ass hole of a Russian man's.

Toris just cocked his head to the side and said "Where? Is it close by?"

"Oh yes, we can walk there. Do not worry."

I stalked behind them trying not to get caught by either. Luckily I was in fairly 'normal' clothes, and had worn jeans and tennis shoes that day so I wasn't as obvious as usual.

They finally made it to a tiny shop near campus. The area had a lot of restaurants for all the people who didn't always want the shit in the union. I couldn't walk into 'Sip' without them noticing me, so I was forced to sit in the sandwich shop across the street.

While eating a bag of chips, I stared at the door.

They didn't come out. So I got a drink.

They didn't come out. So I got a sandwich.

They didn't come out.

Had I missed them? I checked my phone constantly, but there was no word from Toris. Usually when he was done talking with Scarf Monster he texted me right away. What the hell was going on?

Three hours, ya honey that's right, three fucking hours later they left that damn shop. I will never go there, and will always hate the place. I've even warned people away from it. It is totally an evil place if Toris can spend three hours in there with him. Maybe he got like tied up or something...

Okay, I'd kill the Russian. But what would be the most painful?...

So I'm totally joking. Mostly. I think.

I like, can't help it okay? It's Toris! He's special.

After that the two said goodbye outside the shop and parted ways. Once Toris texted me, I had to pretend to be at home, and convince Toris that now was not a good time to come over to my apartment. Normally I'd totally jump at the chance, but since I wasn't home Toris would ask questions and shit.

I asked about Ruso Man and he told me all this crap about how interesting he is and shit. Honestly how can that dude be interesting? Don't know. Toris told me he had been in like the military before coming to America for college and then to teach. Maybe that's where he had killed all those people.

Okay so I didn't know, but I'm sure he had. Lots of people.

Just trust me okay?

I cried into my pillow all night like a whiney bitch. I couldn't help it. Toris was beautiful, wonderful, and so damn perfect. I didn't want to lose him to a weird old man. I whined to Francis over IM about the whole situation. He let me whine, but then told me to hide in Ruso's office and jump out at them when they started having sex.

That only made me cry harder.

After all-caps yelling at Francis I went to bed. Sort of. I just tossed and turned all night.

Tuesday I spent the day avoiding Toris. He of course was worried about me, and I just told him I didn't feel well. Luckily I got out of seeing him for another day.

Ya, who would have thought I'd say that?

Oh God... what if they were sleeping together? Even if they weren't what if Toris liked him more?...

Friday rolled around and I once again cursed the sun. I totally hadn't done that in a while... ever since Toris happened...

Shoot me. Right now. I couldn't face him.

Even though the normal part of me totally knew that Toris wasn't cheating on me, I couldn't stop worrying. I couldn't stop myself from thinking he'd leave. After dressing plainly, I didn't feel like being cute, I went class.

I had my head down on the desk when Toris showed up in literature class. His soft hand touched my shoulder, and his voice was concerned.

"Feliks are you feeling well? I'm worried you're coming down with something..." I looked up at him. No shit sherlock, you're screwing someone else. Then I remembered he thought I had a cold or some shit.

"Maybe..." was all I could manage to say.

"Feliks?... What is it?" He sat next to me and brushed the hair out of my eyes.

I just shook my head and laid my head back down. Scarf Man talked about a bunch of shit I like, was not interesting in just then. Toris took notes, and I slept. I guess it was a fairly normal class.

Until the end.

We had written a short essay in response to one of our books, and Russian Creep handed them back at the end of class.

He had given me a B, and had totally written harsh comments all over my paper. Oh well. I still got a B. Maybe that was like, just because I was friends with Toris. Boyfriends with him...

I looked over to see what he got, and saw a super long comment on the back of his essay. It had been hidden by the works cited page, but what ever it was it didn't look good. Toris' eyes were wide and he was sort of frozen.

"Toris?... Did he give you a bad grade or something?" I leaned over and read the words.

Then I froze too.

_You sit in class_

_And watch me_

_Your lovely hair_

_Falls around your perfect face_

_My little Mouse_

_I think of you always_

_I want to wrap you in my scarf of love_

_I see your face before me_

_In the darkness of my room_

_You melt the snow around me_

_Summer in the Siberia of my heart_

Part of me totally wanted to laugh. It was the dumbest, weirdest poem I had read since middle school. Then I remembered it was about MY boyfriend. The one who was totally screwing my professor.

"What the fuck is this Toris? Oh my God, you are sleeping with him aren't you?" I reread it before looking at him.

"What the hell does he mean about your face in his room?"

Toris just stared at the paper and didn't say a damn word.

I left.

I cried the whole way home, and threw myself sobbing onto the couch.

Toris was a total bastard.

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><p>AN: Thanks again for reading and please review! And yes, Russia does write cheesy bad poetry. XD<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Here is the next chapter! Which is also short. XD I honestly don't know how that happened. They just sort of form on their own. Anyway! Thank you to BehindTheSky, Oceanfur, katicoolkid, Cpt. Sitax, Rainstorm-Mosspath, Petal-8, RLA, FMBat221B, Artemis Klein, and KuzukiTani for your reviews! I love reviews! :3 Let me know what you think of the chapter!

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><p>I didn't talk to him the rest of the week. He called me constantly, and even showed up at my apartment. I didn't go to class Thursday or Friday, and spent all day laying in bed. Toris had stopped calling on Friday, and hadn't come by since Thursday evening. I never answered the door. I could hear him calling to me though. His voice was soft once it filtered into my bedroom, and I couldn't hear what he was saying.<p>

Francis had tried to console me, but he still thought what I did: that Toris was cheating on me. He kept asking me what he needed to bring to America to beat Toris. I told him I'd beat Toris for him. And for me...

Saturday was the day we finally talked. It was a total accident. I was planning on ignoring him for as long as possible.

I was downstairs getting water when he showed up. Toris banged on my door and yelled.

"Feliks I am not leaving until you let me in. I know you're in there, and I know you can hear me. I've tried to explain to you what happened, but you don't listen. I... I can be stubborn too. So I will be. I am going to sit at your front door until you let me in." Then there was a slight shuffling sound, and it was quiet.

Would he? Would he really sit there? For how long?

Is it bad that I wanted to know? Bad that I wanted to make him wait? But I did. I wanted him to prove what he said was true. I wanted him to prove he really cared for me. Me, and not Braginski.

I left him there. I left him there for five hours. I still feel guilty for doing that to him. But I will never doubt him again.

When I finally opened the door, Toris turned around slowly to look at me. He looked awful. He had been crying, and looked like he hadn't slept, showered, or eaten in days. Then again I'm sure I looked the same. I hadn't done any of those either...

"Feliks... Oh Feliks..." And just like that Toris started crying again. He stood and flung himself at me. I was shocked, and without thinking I caught him. We stood like that for a minute, until I remember how pissed I was at him. I pushed him away slightly and then closed the door. He stood silently in my kitchen, his head hung low.

"Feliks why haven't you answered my calls? Why haven't you talked to me?" Toris spoke in a tiny voice. I almost didn't hear him.

"You're fucking Braginski. Maybe I didn't want to talk to you." I really wanted to hit him.

I knew I couldn't though. No matter how angry I was at him, I couldn't stay that way. Looking at him now, standing pathetically in front of me... I couldn't be angry with him.

But I tried.

"I'm not Feliks! Why on earth do you think that? We just talked about books. I swear it Feliks. I swear to God we just talked about books. I didn't know he thought that way, and then that ridiculous poem... I was so shocked and then all the weird things he said to me clicked and I was just so confused... By the time I realized you had left you were ignoring me. I'm not cheating on you. I'm not. I swear it Feliks... please..."

I admit it. I was cruel. Here was Toris crying and telling me the truth... but I towered over him. He cowered in front of me in tears, and I stood above him punishing him with cold silence... I'm such an awful person...

Finally I couldn't take it. He'd suffered enough, and I took his sobbing shoulders into a hug.

"I believe you Toris... I'm sorry... But you two... you talked so much lately that I couldn't help but wonder. Then you spent three hours in that coffee shop, and the next day he writes you a love poem... as shitty as the damn thing was it pissed me off... I'm sorry..." His sobs were slowing now, and he was rubbing the bridge of his nose into my neck.

"What do I do Feliks? What do I do?..."

I honestly had no idea. It's not everyday a terrifying Russian falls in love with your boyfriend. What the hell do you do?

"Wait... How did you know about the coffee shop?" He pulled away and looked me in the eye.

Oh shit.

"Uh... I uh... well Toris... Oh hell. I followed the two of you. I was jealous and pissed and worried and I followed you. I watched the damn place, and you two didn't come out for three fucking hours. That's why I didn't want to talk Tuesday, and that's why I didn't feel well Wednesday. And then with the poem right after that... I freaked. I thought I was totally right about it all, and freaked..."

Toris heaved a huge sigh and lightly knocked his forehead into mine.

"You are ridiculous Feliks..."

I know... I know I am. And this is the part where you tell me I'm too much and you leave...

I was waiting for it. But it never came.

Instead, as I braced myself for a breakup, the softest lips in the world met mine. Toris barely kissed me, like he was scared to.

God, Toris is beautiful. So ridiculously wonderfully astonishingly gorgeous.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back. This time Toris pressed his tongue to my lips, and I let him in. He tasted... wonderful. He wasn't sweet like I thought he'd be, but he wasn't bitter either. He tasted... warm. There was no other way to put it.

We stood there for a long time, both of us with tear stained faces, kissing each other senseless. Who knew Toris could be this passionate? He always seemed so calm...

But here he was holding me as tightly as he could with one arm, his other hand tangled into my hair. Toris kissed me breathless. And damn did I enjoy it.

Finally he let me go and looked at me.

"I don't want anyone but you. I mean that Feliks. Believe me. I will never cheat on you." Toris' eyes were fierce, and I blushed.

"I... I believe you Toris... I'm sorry..."

We spent the rest of the night making out on my couch. I guess Toris felt like he had something to prove, because he totally was more pushy than he had ever been before. Normally he'd kiss me as much as I wanted, but didn't fight for dominace. That night though he pinned me down.

Yes. It was a total turn on. I like having my own way, but it is nice to know your boyfriend can take control sometimes.

And did he ever. I moaned as he ran his hands over me. Toris touched my chest, my sides, my legs... but the adorable thing never crossed the line. He never touched my crotch, and never touched my ass. I don't think at that point I would have minded, but it was so sweet. He was such a gentleman, such a prince. Toris pushed his tongue into my mouth, licking everywhere he could. Then at times he'd lure my tongue into his mouth, only to begin sucking gently on it. That drove me crazy, and I couldn't stop light moans from escaping.

It was difficult to hide my growing erection from him. Impossible actually. The only thing that made it less embarrassing was that fact that Toris was the same way. As he kissed me, and laid on top of me, I could feel him rub lightly against my hip as he moved.

Finally it became too much and I stopped him. "Toris... um... we need to stop..." I blushed and looked away from him. His hair was messed up, and his eyes had a look I'd never seen before. Not in any way a bad one though...

He sighed and nodded, totally understanding what I meant. We both sat next to each other in silence trying to calm ourselves.

"We've been together a month now... I think that is the longest we've ever kissed though... and... and it's the most I've ever gotten to touch you..."

OMG. Toris had just totally said something like that? When did he start being so blunt? I turned to look at him, the both of us blushing.

Suddenly I giggled. He looked surprised at first, but then started giggling as well. Soon both of us were totally holding our stomachs in pain from laughing so much. I guess we both had been so stressed that after the crying and making out, we like, needed to release the tension between us.

It worked though, and after eating a quick dinner, we somehow managed to fall asleep cuddled together on the couch.

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><p>AN: Thanks again and please review!<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I'm sure you all hate me by now and I am so sorry! I'm finally done with finals! (^^ That sounded odd.) The point is though now that I am no longer dying over school I'll be able to write! Thank you for waiting and I'm sorry this one is short again. I'll try to have another up soon! (I mean it this time.) Thank you to: Goldpen, Techie Bunny, brattyteenagewerewolf, Artemis Klein (^^), Catsdon'tcry, BehindTheSky, Rilliane l'Austriche, Rainstorm-Mosspath, TheWalnutQueen, Oceanfur, Uesue, GirPandAbabIez, the awesome italy, and LittleBunnyFooFooMUST-DIE for your reviews! :3 Again thanks for sticking with me. Sorry there isn't much in this one, but hopefully the fluff will make up for it. ^^

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><p>I woke up to someone shuffling underneath me. It took me a very long time, an embarrassingly long time, to figure out that it was Toris. I guess somehow I'd ended up on top of him in the night.<p>

I think I sort of grunted at him... Yes I am a charmer. Thanks for noticing.

"Feliks... my legs are asleep... Could you move?" Toris tried to gently push me off him, but it wasn't working.

I grunted again and rolled off him. I forgot we were on the couch though, and ended up smashing my face into the floor.

"Feliks!" Toris was pulling me up off the floor and back to the couch. He settled next to me as I poked my nose. It was a totally stupid idea though, because my nose was killing me. Like, not literally but it hurt a lot.

I looked over at him finally and smiled. "Good morning Toris." He blushed at me "Good morning Feliks. Did you sleep well? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep..."

I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. I had been about to kiss him on the mouth, when I remembered I totally had morning breath.

"I fell asleep too. I'm going to brush my teeth. What do you want for breakfast?" After stretching I started walking towards the stairs. I turned around to see a dazed looking Toris staring after me. "Toris?"

"Oh! Sorry... um..."

"What's wrong?" Was he upset with me? Was he mad we slept on the couch together? Wait, why would he? Hell I don't know, but what if he was?

"Sorry Feliks... your shirt just... rode up some when you stretched..." Toris stared at his bare feet and poked the couch cushion.

Did I mean to jump on him? No. Did I mean to french kiss him with my morning breath mouth? No.

That is totally what happened though. I somehow managed to tackle him, and ended up laying on top of him. He didn't taste too bad for first thing in the morning, and I kept kissing him. It took him a minute respond, but he like finally kissed me back.

"What was that for?" When I let him go he was blushing badly. So damn cute!

"That was for staring at my naked skin." I winked at him and went to brush my teeth. Once I was upstairs with my tooth brush in my mouth, Toris followed me up and sheepishly asked if he could brush his too.

I didn't have another toothbrush so I told him he'd have to either like, use his finger or my tooth brush. After concentrating waaaay too hard on the choice, he finally reached out for my toothbrush. I grinned and handed it to him. He put tooth paste on it, and blushed as he put it in his mouth. He glanced over at me and then started brushing his teeth. He looked so embarrassed. Adorable. My boy was adorable.

"You make out with me silly." I licked his ear lobe barely and then went downstairs to rummage through my cupboards for breakfast. I didn't miss the choking sound coming from Toris, or the way his eyes widened either.

I was like, so proud of myself for doing that to him, and grinned as I pulled out a box of cereal.

I guess Toris like, went to the bathroom and stuff because it took him a bit to come downstairs. I handed him the box of cereal and a bowl.

"Sorry if you don't like Cheerios. They're all I have. Want milk?" I reached into the fridge and grabbed the carton.

"They're fine. And yes I would like milk. Do you eat them without it?" He poured a large bowl and then took the milk from me when I had finished with it.

"Sometimes. Usually only when I'm running late and put them into a bag to eat at class."

He nodded absentmindedly, as we sat down at the table. We talked as we ate breakfast. There was ton of shit to go over.

"What did you mean yesterday about the weird stuff he said?" I sort of poked at my cereal and then forced myself to eat it. This conversation was so not going to help my appetite.

"He sort of said things that could be taken two different ways... I always thought he meant the normal one."

"Like when he said the coffee shop was more private?" He nodded and then looked back up at me.

"Feliks, how close were you to be able to hear that? How on earth did I not notice you?"

I shrugged and tried to play it off.

"His voice like carries and shit. Anyway, what else?

"Well, one day he told me he liked the color of my hair. I told him it was just a mousey brown, nothing special. Then he laughed and nodded. He said 'Mousey, да that is true.' I think that's why he called me a mouse in the poem..."

"So that part about seeing you in his room?... You weren't there right?"

"No Feliks. The only place we've been outside of class and his office hours was the coffee shop..." Toris sighed and rubbed his temples gently. As much as this totally freaked me out, I so couldn't imagine what Toris was feeling.

"Does that mean then... that he like, does stuff... thinking about you?..."

Toris looked confused. "Stuff alone Toris..." I looked at him like he was supposed to catch on by now.

When he finally did he smacked me. Toris kept smacking me. "Why would you say that Feliks? Are you trying to scar me for life, and make literature class even worse?"

"Okay! God Toris I'm totally sorry! But I like, want to know if some creeper is doing shit like that while thinking about my boyfriend!"

Toris finally stopped hitting me and shuddered. Then he smacked his head on my kitchen table in frustration.

"God Feliks... what the hell do I do Monday?... What do I say?"

My brain stopped. Toris had just cussed. Had Toris ever cussed before? No, no he hadn't. I wanted to be happy about it, but he was so upset I couldn't be. I guess cussing was something he like, only did when he was totally upset. I'd have to watch out for it then...

"I... I don't know..." I decided to try banging my head on the table too. It didn't help, but it made me feel a little better. Until the headache totally started that is.

"I could have told you it wasn't a good idea. It didn't help me either." He sat up and smiled slightly at me. "He technically hasn't done anything wrong... so I guess... I guess I'll try telling him that I don't think of him that way..."

"Do you honestly think that village burner will listen to you?" Knowing Toris he'd feel guilty for hurting Scarf Freak and give it. I could just hear him saying 'Just one kiss. Just to make you feel better.'

That made me super angry and I jumped up and slammed my hands onto the table. "You can't do that Toris! It won't just be one kiss! He'll kidnap you!"

My boy looked at me like I was like, insane. "Toris what are you even talking about? Who said anything about a kiss? I was going to turn him down remember? I like you. Did you somehow forget that?" I blushed. I hadn't said any of what I was thinking out loud. Opps...

"Well anyway be careful. He's creepy and he'll try to kidnap you."

He sighed and then laughed in a sort of sad way. "I think I actually believe you now about that."

Toris seemed exhausted still. After about four days of a like, emotional hurricane we both were. He passed out again on the couch, and I wrote an email to Francis. I had to let him know what happened before he decided to fly to America to castrate Toris. I didn't want that happening. Well not now that I knew he hadn't cheated on me at least.

I was totally surprised though when Toris started snoring. Not normal snoring where their nose shakes and you think 'I will completely smother them if they keep making that noise.' It was soft. In between heavy breathing and a tiny snore.

And it was absolutely the cutest thing ever. But then again Toris totally is.

By this time he had sort of curled up into the fetal position on his side. I grabbed a light blanket and gently put it over him. I don't think I'd ever done anything like that for someone before.

Toris was special. I knew that but didn't know why. I totally don't like people, as I think you've like, noticed by now. Something about him though was... well I actually liked him. That was the something special. He was sweet and accepted me. I could actually talk to him and tell him anything, well within reason. It was a little early to be telling him about certain dreams I'd been having about him... Ones where he was amazingly naked and just so happened to be putting his mouth on certain lower areas of me...

Anyway! The point is I liked him. That's right honey. I was in love with the boy. After one month. Which was totally too soon to tell him. But I could stay quiet for now.

Maybe.

That totally hadn't worked out for me so far.

Toris slept for a few hours and then woke up groggy and kissable. Which I was all to happy to do. He let me kiss him, but didn't respond much. I guess he was still sleepy. At least that had like, better be the reason. After a bit he went home. He was still worried about tomorrow when he had to talk to Scarf Demon. I sooo wasn't looking forward to that either.

Then I heard a little chime. I usually left my IM account open in case Francis was on at random times. This was a super random time for him.

_Francis did you like, not have anything to do today? Why are you on so early?_

_Ah Feliks, I happened to check my email and I had to talk to you! Are you sure he isn't lying? What happened? Give me details!_

_We had a big fight and then made out._

_Honhonhon! More details than that Mon Cher! Especially the bit at the end._

_Francis I swear you are like, such a perv. _

_I am! Now tell me!_

I indulged him. Well mostly. I didn't tell him anything specific about our make out session. He got totally pissed at more for it, but oh well. I am not going to tell Francis how my boyfriend tastes. He'd do something weird with the information.

The rest of the day passed without anything much happening. Toris texted me and asked me to stay with him tomorrow to tell Ruso Freak that he didn't like him. I was so not looking forward to that. What if he like, murdered me and then kept Toris as a sex slave or something?

Laugh all you want. It's totally plausible.

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><p>AN: Thanks again and please review! :3<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

AN: I lied. I didn't mean to but I did. XD Writer's block bit me and I was sick for a while. It is a terrible disease. Hopefully this chapter will make it up to those of you who haven't given up on me yet. ^^ Thank you for that by the way. I honestly never thought I'd write something this long, and it means a lot that you guys have kept reading. Thanks to: Catsdon'tcry, Oceanfur, Artemis Klein, Goldpen, X-3, Rainstorm-Mosspath, TheWalnutQueen, Startled Boris, cryingcarebear, and emeraldcarrot! You have no idea how happy you make me. :3

I also have to say a special thank you to my best friend Artemis Klein! Hopefully you'll like this chapter dear, because without you I never would have been able to write it. :3 Thank you for cheering me up and getting me out of my slump.

I'll quit blabbering now. XD Please please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

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><p>I was worried all morning from the minute I woke up. I hadn't slept that well either. I kept having nightmares where Creepy Russian Man like, tied Toris up with his scarf and tried to stare at me to death. Don't ask. In the dream it was totally possible. I tried to dress in something fairly normal. If any shit went down it'd probably be better if I could run. And I can't run in heels, no matter how sexy I look. So sneakers it was along with some shorts and a t-shirt. Toris and I texted some while I was on the way to class. He seemed super nervous and didn't say much.<p>

My stomach had been making odd noises all morning. I was too nervous to eat much, and again I got a smoothie. They're better than nothing, and taste totally awesome. Like Toris does.

Yes, I did say that.

Anyway Toris somehow ended up getting to class early. I think he ducked out of his last one to talk to me before we had to see Ruso Freak. Toris started whispering to me so no one would overhear us.

"Alright Feliks... I'll have to talk to him after class... I think it'd be best if you aren't right there, so maybe you can stay towards the back of the room... if that's alright..."

I nodded. "He hates me. I doubt me being there will make getting dumped any better. But I didn't wear heels so if he attacks you I can run up and save you."

That probably wasn't the best thing to say to him because he totally paled and looked down. Opps.

"But I mean he's like, in love with you right? So he won't do anything like that." I tried to laugh it off, but I don't think it made either of us feel any better.

We didn't really talk much after that. We were both super nervous, and I was focused on trying to keep my stomach from rumbling too loudly. As class was about to start, and Scarf Monster was walking to the front of the classroom, Toris squeezed my hand. He was sweaty. Knowing him he was just as worried about hurting Creeper as he was about Scarf Man stalking him. Toris is way too sweet for his own good.

It was the longest lecture ever. Normally the time passes so slow I want to cry. Today though it was like, living out a whole week in that room. Except I didn't eat or have to go to the bathroom or anything... You get what I mean. Anyway Scarf Freak kept staring at Toris the whole time. I guess he thought he liked him back or something. I really wanted to punch him...

Toris lightly elbowed me. I suddenly realized I was like, making some sort of growling noise and everyone was staring at me. You'd growl too if you were me! Right?...

Finally class ended, and Toris started to stand. I nodded to him trying to smile. He sort of gulped, and walked towards the front of the room. I gathered our stuff together just in case we had to run out super fast or something.

Toris sort of shuffled up to Ruso Creeper and that giant smiled a terrifying smile at him. It was awful. I think it was supposed to be a happy face for him... Maybe?

"Toris I am glad to see you. You left so quickly Wednesday I did not get to talk to you. You liked the poem, Да? It is my best work, for you my little mouse." Scarf Murderer leaned forward and reached a hand out to touch Toris' head. I almost jumped up to attack him, but Toris took a step back and tried to look intimidating. It didn't really work...

"I did not like the poem Professor Braginski. It was out of line. Thank you for your interest, but I am your student."

"Perhaps, but our love is too strong for such trivial things. How could you not like the poem? It was my feelings for you." He took another step towards Toris, who quickly side stepped away from him.

"It is not trivial. I am not interested in you in that way. I enjoyed talking about literature with you because I like literature. I am not interested in having a romantic relationship with you. I would appreciate you ceasing any advances towards me in future."

Suddenly Ruso Man's face changed. It was terrifying. He somehow managed to all of a sudden get dark circles under his eyes and get like, a foot taller.

"You like him instead, Да? How could someone as intelligent as you like such a fool? Such an imbecile?" He glared at me as if he was about to murder me. I think he may have been. I would have totally shrunk into a scared pile of Feliks if Toris hadn't spoken up so quickly.

"Feliks is not an imbecile or a fool. How dare you say that when you know nothing about him? How dare you insult my boyfriend simply out of misplaced jealousy? Do not attack him because I do not return your feelings. You shouldn't be pursuing a student in the first place." I've never seen Toris mad like that... I don't think I ever would again. His voice was loud and didn't waver once. He stomped past Braginski and went to stand next to me. "I am sorry for hurting you, but I will never be interested in you or anyone else. I'm in love with Feliks. Now if you'll excuse us we will be leaving. We will see you Wednesday for class."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the room. I barely had time to grab our bags. Ruso Freak stood there with that horrifying purple aura of doom around him, fists clenched. He'd kill us. I was sure of it. Like hell I'd being going to class on Wednesday. Was Toris totally insane? As we walked down the hall my brain went over everything Toris had said... How he had stood up for me and defended me. And said... well said he loved me. Was that true? Or was he just trying to get Braginski to leave him alone by any means he could use?

Toris was fuming, so I stayed quiet. I totally had no idea what to say anyway. He was still dragging me along and began muttering to himself. I couldn't understand anything he said, but I think I heard my name a few times. Finally we got to where his bicycle was chained up outside. He stopped and sighed heavily.

"I'm sorry Feliks. I don't know what is wrong with that man..." I was looking at the ground, but I could feel him glance over at me. "Are you upset with me Feliks?"

I shook my head slowly, but I still couldn't look at him. All I was thinking about was if he had meant those words... If he had meant it when he said he loved me.

"Would... would you like to spend the evening together?" Toris sounded like he was in trouble. He sounded like I had scolded him or something. I nodded again and he took my hand. "Feliks?..."

I finally looked up at him and could see the worry in his eyes. "Sorry Toris. I guess I'm just a little shocked... I'd like to spend the evening together." We took the bus to my apartment, and I got us both something to drink. We sipped our water silently, like the whole bus trip had been. Finally Toris seemed like he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm sorry Feliks. Are you upset with me? Or are you hurt by what Professor Braginski said? Please tell me..." I felt his hand smooth out my hair and I leaned into his touch.

"Did you mean it?... Or did you just say it to get rid of him?" I didn't have the courage to look at Toris just yet, so I kept staring at the carpet.

"Did I mean what?..."

"That... that you loved me..." My voice was small as I spoke. I knew Toris liked me. But like and love are two different things. I was scared of what his answer would be.

There was silence for a moment and then Toris' warm lips touched my cheek. "I meant it. How could you think I didn't? Are you upset that I said that? Do you think it's too early?..." Now he sounded nervous, and finally I turned to look at him.

"I don't think it's too early... I just... I just don't want you to like... say that and not mean it..."

He lightly knocked his forehead into mine. I noticed he did that when he was telling me he cared about me. Maybe he was too embarrassed to look at me or something...

"I mean it Feliks. I'm sorry I had to tell you that way... I'm glad you aren't upset with me for it. I really do love you..."

Toris has the most beautiful voice. It's usually quiet, but it's strong. I don't know how to put it... It's so calming and warm. When he says things to me I just want to melt. Especially since he just told me he loved me. My boy loved me. Just like I loved him.

I grabbed him in a tight hug and couldn't stop myself from crying softly. It took Toris a minute to realize what was happening, but his arms tightened around me when he did.

"I love you Toris. I love you. I was so scared you'd never love me. And I was worried I'd scare you off if I told you so soon. I'm so happy. I'm so happy Toris..."

He had pressed his face into my hair and I could feel him smile now.

We were quiet for a while and then he slowly let go of me. "Feliks... may I kiss you?" It was so silly to me that he even asked that I laughed. He looked hurt for a moment until I rushed forward and kissed him full on the mouth. Toris relaxed and kissed me back.

Though we were both happy about confessing our love, our moods were... well sort of down. I had slowly realized that Toris was like me, sometimes he just got depressed and couldn't really explain why. Today though our problem with Ruso Freak made that worse. I still didn't know what we'd do. Scarf Monster was probably plotting how to kill me and steal Toris. Shit, maybe he'd kill us both. I think Toris was starting to worry about the same thing. We snuggled quietly on the couch, and I curled up in Toris' lap. He pet my hair, but when I looked up at him he seemed to be thinking about something serious.

Damn that ass of a professor. Toris had told me he loved me, but that old perv still was on his mind.

Tuesday was totally boring. Toris had a lot of homework just like I did. We did some together at the library while he worked, and then I went home alone. We didn't talk about the next day or what we would do about class. Finally Wednesday morning I called Toris.

"Um... so I think I'm going to totally skip Russian lit. class. I do not want to see that freak ..."

Toris was quiet for a few minutes after listening to me.

"I'd like to skip also, but we can't Feliks. For several reasons. One, we have done nothing wrong. He has. Two, we can't let him scare us like this. Three, he takes attendance and will flunk us if we don't go. If you want we can just sit in the back or something. But we need to go."

I huffed angrily into the phone. Toris was right but I didn't want to admit that. I was scared out of my mind, and so did not want to get killed just yet. My life was finally getting better, thank you very much, and I was not ready for it to end. Especially like this.

"Fine... But we're sitting at the back and I'm bringing pepper spray." I grabbed my pony backpack and headed out the door. Normally Toris would have laughed at the pepper spray comment, but I guess this wasn't something to joke about yet.

Not til that perv left my boyfriend alone.

I kept thinking about Toris all through my classes. I was like, always think about him, but I was worried. He had verbally kicked Scarf Creep's ass Monday, and who knows what would happen now. Once I got into the room I chose a seat near the door at the back of the room.

Fast getaways and all that jazz.

Toris finally was next to me and smiled nervously at me as he sat down and pulled out his notebook. Scarf Monster finally got to class and started to take attendance. For once he actually spoke while doing it. That's when I knew something was wrong. Normally if someone was absent he'd just scan the room a few times, nod, and check them as absent.

"Is Feliks Łukasiewicz not here?"

Toris and I glanced at each other nervously. I tried to clear my voice and then I said "I'm here Professor."

"Нет? I must mark him absent then." He began marking the paper and I tried again though I knew it would do no good.

"I'm here in the back Professor."

That little fucker didn't respond. He kept going with attendance. I even tried two more times. He finally put the paper down and started lecturing. Toris was rubbing his temples like he had a headache and everyone was whispering.

Whatever. If he wanted to be a dick then fine. He could be.

It got worse though. That night I checked my grade on the college website after looking up an assignment for another class. I was failing. All of my grades in Russian Literature had disappeared. I was in shock and called Toris.

Who knew that dude would fight like a fucking five year old?

Toris sounded like he was about to cry, which only hurt me more.

"This is all my fault Feliks... I'm so sorry. If I hadn't been rude to him he wouldn't be taking it out on you..."

"Don't even start that shit Toris. None of this is your fault. Well you should have stayed away from that freak, but still. If you hadn't gotten pissed he'd have kept trying to feel you up. Do you still have that poem?"

He was quiet and then said. "Oh, yes I do. Sorry... I was distracted so I just nodded..."

I smiled and sighed. "You're such a dork. I love you for it though. We'll need to go talk to someone, like the head of his department. Who would that be?" This was turning into a major headache. As if college didn't suck enough without your professors going crazy and screwing your grades over...

"Um... let me look it up..." I could hear typing and then he spoke again. "It looks like it's a man named Yao Wang. I think he may be the new head of the foreign literature department... I've never met him before... Do you think he'll listen to us?..."

"I have totally no idea. But it's like, all we can do right? Want to tomorrow before you have to go to work? I'll skip my math class."

"Feliks you can't do that..."

"Too bad. This is more important. I'll just make you teach me everything. It's not like I can understand Honda anyway."

With our plan made we said goodnight and I tried to go to bed. This past week had been total shit. And it wasn't looking any better...

The next morning Toris and I were holding hands and staring at a door that said "Yao Wang Head of Department of Foreign Literature." I tried to swallow, but it was more of a gulp. Toris squeezed my hand and knocked quietly on the door.

There was a quiet shuffling sound and then a small man opened the door. At first I thought it was a woman. The dude was pretty. His long black hair pulled into a pony tail didn't help much.

"May I help you aru? I do not know either of you." He looked sort of puzzled and I realized I couldn't speak. Toris, being the totally awesome boyfriend he is took over after realizing this.

"I'm sorry Mr. Wang but we have a rather serious problem we need to discuss with you. Are you free at the moment? Could we speak in your office?"

The man glanced at our hands and then back up at our serious faces.

"Well then come in." He held the door open for us and Toris gently pulled me into the room. He pointed me at a chair, and then sat in the empty one next to me. Professor Wang moved to sit behind his desk.

"I hope it is nothing too serious aru. It is only my first week." I think he was trying to joke with us. He had a smile on his face and had tilted his head to the side. Totally trying to play it off. Great.

"I'm sorry to bother you Professor-"

He held up a hand, cutting me off, and shook his head.

"It isn't a bother aru. I am here for students as well as faculty. What is the problem?" His accent was not very thick, and he was easier to understand than Honda.

"Um... well... It is a problem that we have been having with Professor Braginski... Normally we would not go above his head like this, but it has become rather serious..." Toris shifted uncomfortably as he sat and tried to explain what had happened over the past week or so. He showed Professor Wang the love poem as well. At first the man seemed suspicious of us, but slowly seemed to believe us. Well Toris really. I still couldn't speak like a dumb ass. I just sat there and blushed.

Finally when Toris was done speaking Professor Wang stared at the love poem silently. "This is rather difficult to believe..." He glanced up at the both of us. "You are telling me this is how a member of our faculty has behaved?"

Suddenly I had to say something. "I'm sorry Professor, but have you like met this dude yet?"

He looked shocked, but shook his head. "Call him then. He's enough of a creep I doubt he'd deny anything." I huffed and crossed my arms. Toris tried to elbow me to shut me up, but I didn't care. I would be so damn mad if this guy didn't believe us. Just because that douche of a Russian was an adult...

Professor Wang nodded. "He does need to be here." He called Scarf Perv and told the creeper to come to his office. He didn't say why though.

"I have yet to meet Mr. Braginski, and this is not how I would have wanted to, but it cannot be helped aru." He fiddled with his pony tail and waited for the knock at the door. When Ruso Freak finally showed up we all tensed, even Wang. He got up and opened the door. Scarf Monster didn't even look at him. His eyes went first to Toris and he smiled creepily. Then his eyes went to me and all of a sudden that village burner glare was back.

Wang coughed quietly to bring Braginiski's attention to him. The giant turned and when he saw Wang he sort of froze. He looked the man up and down, and then glanced at Toris. As if deciding something he turned back to Wang.

What the hell was up with this dude?

"It is nice to meet you Dr. Wang. I'm sorry I haven't yet welcomed you to the college." He held his hand out and smiled. That monster giant smiled. Like a freaking little kid.

Wang looked as confused as I felt, but shook his hand anyway. "Please sit Mr. Braginski. These students have something to discuss with the two of us."

Scarf Monster shot me a death look when Wang wasn't looking, but his face was innocent again once the man looked up.

"These students have told me they've had... a confrontation with you aru. Is this true?"

"Confrontation? Нет. Toris is my best student." His voice was even like a little kids. Eeks. That's all there is to say to that.

"Toris says that you confessed your... love and wrote him a love poem which he has showed me. Feliks explained that you have removed his grades and purposely counted him absent aru."

Braginski looked over at us. He seemed to be deciding something. Maybe it was whether or not he could strangle me with Wang in the room and get away with it. I shivered slightly, but didn't miss the smirk that showed on Ruso Perv's face.

"Да. It is true. I was in the, how you say it, throes of love."

"Was?" Wang's eyebrow twitched slightly and I gulped.

"Да. Was."

"And now you are not aru? In one day? You do understand how ridiculously against school policy it is that you changed a student's grade like that don't you aru? Not to mention the poem..." He glared at the Russian, and the freak's smiled faltered for the tiniest second.

"...Да..."

"And you understand I could help these students in filing a lawsuit again you aru? On several counts?" Wang leaned forward. Holy shit. This tiny Chinese dude was scolding Scarf Monster! This would either be awesome, or end up with the building being blown up.

The Russian hung his head and nodded.

"And why should I not help them do this aru?"

Ruso Scarf stayed silent for a moment and then spoke quietly. "My attentions to Mr.

Laurinaitis were misplaced and out of line. I apologize to him for any trouble I have caused."

Wang nodded and then continued to push him. "And as for your actions towards Feliks?"

Braginski seemed to snarl for a second and then looked over at me. "I should not have overreacted in such a way. I will fix his grades immediately, and fix the attendance sheet."

"I am placing you under my personal surveillance Mr. Braginski aru. Since your file says nothing negative about you I will assume this is the first time you have ever acted in such a way. If you do so in future your job will be forfeit and a lawsuit will be filed aru. Do you understand?"

What the hell? That was like, it? He didn't even get a slap on the wrist for all that shit? Dude needs to pay! I was about to yell at the two of them when Toris reached over and grabbed my hand. I could tell he didn't want me to say anything. Braginski was looking like a beaten puppy, and I guess that was good enough for him. Like hell it was for me, but I'd keep my mouth shut.

For now.

Braginski had nodded and Wang sighed. "Boys is this agreeable or would you like a different resolution?"

I almost growled out my answer, but Toris beat me too it. "This is acceptable Dr. Wang. I'm sorry I didn't realize earlier you had your doctorate. As long as there is no trouble in future we are fine with letting the issue drop."

"You may leave then. Thank you for coming to me with this. I'm sorry it happened, and I assure you it won't continue. Will it aru?" He looked at Ruso Freak, who simply nodded.

Well at least that tiny dude could wear the pants in a relationship. A absolutely god awful

mental image flashed through my mind for a second of Braginski in a dress. I could have cried over that total mental scarring.

"Thank you Dr. Wang. We'll be leaving now."

As we closed the door I glanced back to see Scarf Freak smiling sheepishly over at Wang. That Chinese dude better watch out. That was the perv look. Ew. Total ew. At least it wasn't directed at Toris anymore, but shit that dude got over crap fast.

We were outside before either of us said anything. "God I am exhausted. I think... I think I may go home and call in sick... I hope no one saw me. I can't take work and class right now..." He sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"Why didn't you want to let Wang punish Braginski? That freak totally deserves something after all this shit." Toris smiled over at me and nodded as he unchained his bike.

"He does. But can you honestly tell me you'd like to get in a fight of any type with that man?" I thought about it and decided I totally agreed with my awesome boyfriend. Besides, Wang looked like he could totally whip his ass.

Great. There is another terrifying mental picture for me. Something is so fucked up with my brain.

"Get on Feliks. We can both go back to my apartment. I don't know why I haven't brought you there before... Or did you want to go to your class?"

I laughed as I seated myself on the small bike rack over his back tire. "As if I'd do that boring shit when you finally invited me over! Step on it Toris!" He laughed and started peddling. I know it sounds super dorky, but I've always wanted to do this with him. It always looked so fun in movies and anime. And it was fun. It totally hurt my butt though, and I kept making Toris swerve a little.

We eventually got to his apartment, and he chained up his bike as I looked around. The complex was about five blocks from mine tucked behind a little residential area. It looked quiet and the few people I saw were older.

"Again... sorry I haven't showed you my apartment yet. It's little and boring so I didn't think much of it," he said as he unlocked his door. I was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Like I give a damn Toris! I totally can't wait! Way to totally fix such a shitty day!" I bounded in and immediately started poking around. It was a little apartment. It was freaking adorable though, and fit Toris perfectly. There was a tiny kitchen with a window above the sink. He had a little leafy potted plant on the window sill. He had no table, and his counter had two stools tucked under the other side. A little pantry was next to the fridge. There was a green love-seat couch at the back of the room. Toris had no TV, but his walls were lined in five tall bookshelves.

"Wow Toris. I like, didn't know it was possible to own so many bookshelves." I glanced over at him and he shuffled his feet.

"I... I like to read... Sorry. I know they're a little... odd..."

I smothered him in a tight hug and kissed him quickly. "They're awesome Toris. Just like you. I should have know you'd have so many books since you love reading so much." I let him go and turned to look for his room. I saw a door open on the left and went through. It ended up being a tiny bathroom, so I went through the only other door there was. Toris followed me shyly as I walked into his bedroom. It was little, just like the rest of the apartment. His bed was in one corner, and he had a short bookcase that he was also using as a nightstand. He had a small desk in front of a big window with the curtains pulled closed. I opened his closet and nodded. I didn't expect there to be much in it. His wardrobe didn't have like, hardly any variation. He had a ton of sweaters and sweater vests though. It'd have been totally dorky if he didn't look so damn cute.

I shut his closet and turned to him. "It's perfect Toris! I love it!" He seemed to relax at that and smiled. "I'm sorry there isn't much... and I don't have a TV or anything..."

"Hell Toris, I don't care. I'll just get to pay more attention to you." I winked at him and he blushed.

"Are you hungry at all?... I was too nervous for breakfast earlier..." I grabbed his hand and dragged him back into the little kitchen.

"I'm totally starving. I didn't eat either. I hope all this shit with Scarf Perv is over. He's a total ass and I'm sick of it. Wish I could drop his class but I need the stupid credit." Toris nodded absentmindedly as he looked through his fridge.

"So do I. I still can't believe such an intelligent man acted like that. Do you like french toast?" He glanced up at me to see me pouting.

"Feliks why are you upset? I turned him down remember? And said I loved you." He hugged me and kissed the top of my ear. I suddenly got really warm and felt myself blushing. I don't think Toris like, realized how easily I get turned on from him touching me...

"Ya. Right. French toast." I laughed awkwardly and tried to get out of his grip. He laughed quietly and held me tighter.

"Fine Feliks I'll feed you. Later though you are paying attention to me. Isn't that always what you say? Pay attention to me?"

OMG. What was up with Toris teasing me like this? I totally couldn't talk and accidentally made a gargling noise at him. He finally let me go and we both blushed as we started making the food.

Toris is a damn good cook. Have I mentioned that? I burn all sorts of stuff, but Toris is awesome at it. He'll make an awesome wife. For me that is. I can just see him in nothing but an apron bent over the stove...

Anyway.

Food. Delicious. We ate and talked quietly about his apartment. He liked the area because it was quiet and safe. The apartments were mostly rented by older couples with no kids, or graduate students. The rent was cheap since the place was so small, but he liked that it was little.

"I do wish I had room for another bookcase though... I have some stacks in my room that are forming on the floor..." He poked at the last bit of french toast on his plate before eating it. "Need any more syrup?"

I shook my head and finished my last piece. "You are such a great cook Toris. I'm super jealous." He rewarded me with a totally adorable blush and simply picked my plate up. He soaked the dishes in the sink and then turned back to me.

"What would you like to do Feliks? Oh! Let me call into work before I forget..." He called in and did a fairly convincing sick voice. They seemed to believe him, and I assumed he never called in sick. Toris is to reliable to get sick. I was jealous of him. Ever since we'd started dating though my problems had gotten a little better. I still couldn't eat spicy foods or too much grease, but it seemed my days of running to the toilet from nervousness were almost at an end. Or at least were getting a hell of a lot less frequent.

I wandered back into his room as he hung up the phone. After flopping down on his bed I closed my eyes and kicked off my shoes. I wanted to take off my shorts, they were riding up a bit, but I didn't dare. Toris quickly found me and sat next to me. I leaned into his warmth and felt a hand brush my cheek. I was totally ready for a nap, but when I looked up at Toris I could tell that wasn't happening.

Not that I minded. Not with the look he was giving me.

When Toris blushed at me with his eyes slightly closed I knew what it meant. I grinned and pulled him down on top of me, quickly kissing him. He made a small humming noise at me and tangled his fingers gently into my hair.

My boy is the best kisser ever.

We laid like that for a long time, just making out. Something was different today again though. Ever since our fight Toris had been a lot more forward about kissing and touching me. I so did not mind, but it was still surprising. After over a month of a shy blushing boy, he suddenly just took over.

Our kisses had gotten more heated, and after sucking on my tongue long enough to make me melt, he let go. "Feliks... I... um... may I take off your... shirt?..." I couldn't tell if he paused so much from shortness of breath or because he was nervous. I was completely panting as he whispered into my ear.

"God please Toris." I pushed him off me slightly and managed to get my shirt off in record time.

It was hot in there okay? You'd be hot too if you had a sexy Lithuanian asking to take off your clothes.

I tossed my shirt onto the floor and blushed. Toris had never seen me without a shirt, and I totally felt self-conscious once I got it off. He gave me the look again though, reaching out to touch me.

"You are beautiful Feliks. So beautiful..."

I sighed heavily and let myself fall back onto the bed. Toris kept softly running his hand over my chest and I had to close my eyes from embarrassment. Suddenly soft lips closed down on my nipple and I moaned loudly before I could stop myself. He chuckled and licked me.

Which totally made me moan again.

I've never had anyone touch me like that okay? Especially Toris. Beautiful, handsome, sexy Toris...

"Toris... your shirt..." He was still licking my nipple while I tried to talk. I was getting so hard from just that. Sad I know, but I didn't give a fuck. I wanted that boy as naked as he'd get, and pressed on top of me.

He sat up and blushed deeply. "Um... o-okay..." He slowly slid his shirt off and then tried to cover his naked chest up. Adorable. Absolutely adorable. I pushed him down and moved on top of him. We both gasped softly as our chests touched, and I could feel him hard beneath me rubbing against my thigh. I moved down a little so our erections rubbed together through our clothes.

And oh God. I think my brain stopped working for a few minutes. Seriously.

"I love you Feliks. I love you." Toris was whispering to me and peppering my face with kisses. I was holding on to him as tightly as I could, trying to stop myself from grinding him. Every time his hips barely moved I could feel him push against me, and the pressure was so good...

I moan softly and kissed Toris on the mouth roughly. "I love you too Toris. Oh god I love you..." He stilled for a moment and then gently thrust his hips up into mine. Soon we were both rocking into each other without another thought. I was so hot, and Toris was holding me tighter than he ever had before. His breathing was heavy, right in my ear, and driving me totally crazy. Suddenly he flipped us over and pinned me down on the bed. Toris took a deep breath and pushed himself up to look at me.

"Um... Feliks... what do you... want to do?..."

I was trying to catch my breath. At first I wanted to be like, 'WTF? I want you to screw me into this mattress,' but then I could actually think again and realized what he meant. It was totally too soon for that. No matter how much we both wanted it. Even knowing we loved each other. I sighed and let my head drop onto the bed.

"Hell Toris, I don't know... It's... it's like too soon, but..." I looked up at him and he nodded.

"But..." He wanted me like I wanted him. He was worried too though.

He sighed and rested his forehead on mine. We caught our breath for a little bit, and I started calming down. At first I didn't think my... problem would go away but slowly it did. Very slowly. And I'd totally have to do something when I got home later to let out all that tension. Tension I had wanted to let out all over Toris...

Anyway.

He rolled over to lay next to me and closed his eyes.

I scooted closer to him, and he wrapped an arm around me. "I'm sorry Feliks... I just don't want to rush this and lose you... and... well..."

I looked over at him and smiled. "I'm totally nervous too Toris. You're... you're a virgin right?..." He had better be. Otherwise I'd have to travel back in time and murder whoever he had slept with.

Yep. I'm just a normal boyfriend.

Stop laughing. It's totally true.

Toris blushed worse than he had in a long time and looked down. "Y-yes... I am... Does that bother you?..."

I laughed and kissed all over his face. "You are so silly! I'm so glad you are! I am too. You honestly think I'd want anyone touching you besides me?" Toris nuzzled my neck with his nose and whispered "Thank you..." so quietly I almost didn't hear him.

My super awesome sexy boyfriend is so damn cute.

We talked about past relationships for a little bit. I wanted to know about his, and I knew he wouldn't lie to me. He had only dated one girl for like a week in high school.

"She was a little younger than me and very sweet, but she had this terrifying brother. He made her break up with me, and threatened me at gun point if I ever went near her again. Needless to say we never dated again." I wanted to pout a little because he seemed like he had liked the girl. I settled for holding him tighter and making him kiss me. He laughed lightly and asked my about my relationships. As I told him about the few boys I'd liked and dated, Toris just listened.

At the end he smiled and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "I'm glad none of them stayed. I got you instead."

That totally deserved a squeal and kisses. With which he was promptly rewarded.

I snuggled into his chest and sighed. Our shitty day had turned out pretty damn good I thought as I dozed off. I could already hear Toris gently snoring...

* * *

><p>AN: Hopefully China wasn't too ooc... I see him as being the only one who can scold Russia. ^^ China is old and strong. Please review and let me know what you think!<p> 


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